Setting the Record Straight
by MssrsMoonyandPadfoot
Summary: Remus looks back on his times in Hogwarts and the real story of the Marauder's time in school.
1. Introduction

First things first, let me introduce myself. My name is Remus Lupin, and I am here to tell the truth. The only real reason I'm here to tell the truth is because, well, I'm really the only one left to do it. Everyone else who could tell you everything is gone now, dead, six feet under, however you want to say it. But, none the less, they are currently unavailable for comment as one could say.

But why do I need to tell the truth? Because, apparently very few people know the truth; and when people don't know the truth they are liable to make stories up. I really do hate it when people just, make things up willy nilly. Especially when it comes to the lives of me and my friends. So that's why I'm here to tell the truth, so you all get to know the real story, the real truth. I'm here to set the record straight….

Now, before I really start getting into this story full on, I need to explain some things first. Like one, I might as well tell you who everyone is now, that way I don't have to stop in the middle of my story to tell you some mundane detail about a person that could ultimately get me sidetracked. Because if I get sidetracked, there's no telling where this story could go. We have five main people in this story, all of them were my friends, three of them have passed on, and one remains alive but is dead to me. These amazing five people are James Potter, Sirius Black, Lily Evans (who became Lily Potter), Peter Pettigrew, and myself.

James. Ah, how to sum up someone of his character into a few words, that is something I don't think anyone could do. He was just, such an amazing friend and complex person. I have never felt myself to be so blessed to know a person like him, especially later in his life. For awhile, especially when we were about fourteen to when were sixteen, James was a little bit, well, a jerk. Of course, we all were. I'm not going to sit here and be a hypocrite saying I was an innocent little boy. But then again, I did have the reputation of being the good one. Of course, anyone looks like a "good one" when put next to James and Sirius. I swear, they must have set a record in having the most detentions while attending Hogwarts. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

James was the dreamer, the one with the big ideas. He was the guy who got up in the morning and knew what he wanted to do that day. Of course most days it was to get Lily to go out with him. Man did he love that girl. Now, I'm not talking about some little crush either, I'm talking about full on love. I don't think the guy owned a single think that did not have "I Love Lily" or "J.P. + L.E." written or carved into it. Hell, you should have seen his bed post! I don't know what would have happened to James if Lily hadn't finally said yes to him seventh year. Ah, once again, I'm getting ahead of myself. See, getting sidetracked and ahead of myself, two things I most commonly do when I'm trying to get this all out.

James was the tallest one of us, which he liked to point out, even if it was only once inch over myself. And here is a pristine opportunity to set a few misconceptions about him and us as a group. James was the only one out of us for to play quidditch. Yes, we all enjoyed the game, but James was the only one actually good enough to play for the house team. And he wasn't just good, he was superb. And another thing, James wasn't a seeker, he was a chaser. Sure, he was often seen with a snitch in his pocket, but that's only because he nicked it one day and liked to show it off. Besides, a snitch is much easier to carry in one's pocket than a quaffle is.

Another common misconception, that James was this big ladies man before he got together with Lily finally. Nuh-uh. The boy was crazy about her, and her only. Yes, he did have a date every now and then, but never an outstanding girlfriend. I mean, think about that logically, if James had a girlfriend, how could he ask Lily out every bloody time that he saw her? Simple, he couldn't. James was a decent guy, he would never do something like that. So, for simplicity's sake, he never had a girlfriend, knowing that one day Lily Evans would say yes to him. And that day she did…well, I'll get to that later.

The other common misconception, that James and Sirius aren't smart. Oh Merlin how smart those two were. The were probably some of the brightest students that school had ever seen. The things they could do with magic was amazing. After all, a stupid person couldn't make that map. No, making something like, creating their own spells and such, that takes pure talent and ingenious capabilities, which they both had. They're the reason I had to study so hard, so I didn't look like some stupid idiot trailing along with them. Besides, stupid people don't master being an animagus by the time they're sixteen either. But once again, that's another story.  
But, enough about James for now. You'll get to know him and his mannerisms better as I get into the story more. Let's move on to Sirius. Now Sirius was an interesting character. I know people know some things about him, but they don't know everything. Sirius, like I said before was a genius yes, he just lacked in the common sense department, simple as hat. He was also a bonafied ladies man. He was what many people thought to be the best looking out of all of us. Sirius was the only guy I knew who could pick up a girl without even trying. He could flirt, and he wouldn't even know it. Girls just simply flocked to him. And that brings me up to my first pet peeve. People, Sirius was my best friend, not my boyfriend, lover, crush, no, none of that. Sirius was all about the girls. I, well, I was under special circumstances when it came to the dating realm. But, this is not about me right now, its about him.

Now Sirius was a real charmer, between he and James those two probably got out of half of their detentions, which is scary when you think of how many they couldn't get out of. He just had that certain charisma about him. It's a shame to think of what he once was, but than what he was reduced to all because of one little rat, literally. Sirius, just like James was one of the best friends a guy could ever ask for, and I really do feel lucky just to have known them.

It kind of hurts to think about it, but I only knew James for ten years. Can you believe that? I met James our first year of Hogwarts, 1971, and then in only 1981, he was dead. Ten bloody years! That's not fair, not fair at all. And similar circumstances go for Sirius. Sure, he lived until 1996, but from 1981 to 1994 I thought he was responsible for killing Lily and James and Peter and that he should rot in jail. So really, I only got eleven years with him. It really isn't fair at all.

Now, for the one person I admired the most, Lily. Now when I say admired I do not mean to say I had a crush on her. I mean to say that I, well, admired her. Lily was one of the nicest, kindest, people you could ever have met in your entire life, and I really mean it. I have encountered very few people who have treated me with such kindness, respect, and friendship that she showed me.

But, Lily wasn't always, well, the sweetest person. As much as she was a nice person, she was a bit, well, conceited. She knew she was smart, and she didn't mind reminding people on occasion. She didn't mean to be rude about it, but some people took it as that. She was just, Lily, simple at that. To be honest, Lily was pretty, I will admit that. After all, it wasn't every day you found a girl with dark red hair and bright green. James certainly found her striking.

Again, there is another thing that so many people get wrong. There was no love at first sight for those two. No way, no how. In fact, more people were shocked when they finally did start going out rather than saying "I knew they would." No one really expected her to ever say yes. After all, she used to basically tell him he was an arrogant prat every day for about four years. But, she did say yes finally in seventh year. And I know at least I was saying "Thank Merlin she finally yes." I firmly believe that if Lily had never said yes, that James would have just spent the rest of his life obsessing over her. Sad I know, but still true none the less. But, Lily really doesn't come into play until later on in this story.

Next, would be Peter. It's very hard for me to talk about him though. Why? Because he single handedly ruined for lives directly. It's his fault Voldemort knew where James and Lily had been hiding and why he could find them to kill them, which orphaned baby Harry. Then, Sirius was blamed for him being a traitor, and then he was framed for Peter's death which never happened. So, Sirius went to jail for thirteen years, knowing he was perfectly innocent. And here I was, left thinking three of my friends were killed and one was a traitor. It was just a mess for those thirteen years for me, it really was. No real friends, no steady job, it was horrible.

But Peter does bring up an interesting point. Him being the traitor was probably the most surprising thing ever. I see whenever people make up these little stories that they always talk about someone having a "bad feeling" about him. If any of us had thought Peter was capable of what he did, we never would have let him in our circle of friends in the first place. No one knew what he was going to do, no one.

And now finally, I'm on to what I probably should have told you about first, myself. But, I feel rather stupid talking about myself. After all, it just feels weird talking about oneself. But, there are some important things to know. Most importantly, I am a werewolf. Simple as that, once a month, more specifically ever twenty-eight days I become afflicted due to a full moon. Of course, now its much easier with the creation of the wolfsbane potion. At least now I have control, and I can just curl up in a little whimpering ball away from everyone. But before, back when I was in school, it was completely different. Back then I had no control, I was dangerous, and yet my three best friends stood by my side. My condition is part of the reason they even became animagi. And for that, I am always grateful to them.

Being a werewolf is a particularly sad lifestyle, but, it's not by choice. When I was a little boy no one asked me if I wanted to be a werewolf. Nope, because believe me if I had had the choice I would have declined it. Being a werewolf is not fun. I can't keep a job down because no one wants to work with a werewolf, and with no steady job comes no steady paycheck. And not having a steady paycheck means its hard to always pay rent on a place, which means I'm not exactly a stranger to asking for a place to stay, or hiding out some run down shack. It's not a pretty life, but it's what has to be done, simple as that. And with your best friends gone, it's only that much harder. But for the probably twentieth time, I'm getting ahead of myself. Because, to really set the record straight, you have to go back. Way back, back to 1971 when I, and the rest of my friends were just innocent little first years getting ready to go to Hogwarts…

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a/n: This is a repost of this story. I had it posted somewhere else first, but after some time thinking, I realized people on are much nicer and I'm more like to get some helpful feedback on this story. I would appriciate it much if you left a review. Thanks. 


	2. The Very Begining

I fondly remember being eleven. I remember that year that changed my life, 1971. More specifically, September of 1971. I was a small shy boy, not really knowing anyone at all. I had gotten onto the platform, both of my parents were there with me. My mother was in hysterics at the sight of her son heading of to school. It was a big moment in not only my life, but theirs as well.

Being on the platform for the first time is one of the most uncomfortable moments that any Hogwarts student has to face. Especially if they're an only or eldest child. Because then, you're all alone. You really don't know anyone, unless maybe you've made some friends through friends of your parents, or maybe a cousin or something. But, for the most part, you're alone and you have to get used to an entirely new setting. I would hate to have been a muggleborn student there for the first time. At least I knew some things to expect from talking with my parents.

Soon though, I was out them. I was alone and boarding that train to head off to school. Of course, I was very nervous about making friends. How exactly would I go about my "delicate condition"? Being a werewolf doesn't exactly make you the kid everyone wants to be friends with. I was just so self conscious, wondering if other kids could tell that's what I was just by looking at me. It wasn't fair, no eleven year old boy should be put through that torture, they just shouldn't.

As I climbed up onto that train, I remember sighing heavily. I was really doing this, I was really off to school, I was really going to be away from my home and family for nine months. But, part of me knew I could do it. I knew I was perfectly capable of handling school and being on my own. After all, other kids could do it, and I knew I had a lot more strength and courage than those other kids.

I walked down the isle of the Hogwarts express, looking into the compartments that were starting to fill up. Occasionally a person would glance over at me, sometimes smiling, sometimes not. But them looking at me made me feel so self-conscious about myself, that I just kept walking until I finally found an empty compartment to sit in by myself. I was getting used to that whole "by myself" idea, so it didn't really bother me that much.

As the train finally started to move, I simply sat in the corner. The entire compartment to myself, and yet I was still huddled up in the corner. I waved good bye to my parents as the train lurched slowly away from the platform. I sighed quietly, realizing I was really going off to school and would have to do things for myself, make new friends. But, I could do it, I convinced myself that I could.

The scenery just seemed to fly by as the train rolled down the tracks at a nice steady pace. I sat there, twirling my wand in between my fingers as I watched the countryside go by me. With each moment, I grew more and more anxious, nervous, my stomach was in knots. Was I going to be able to make friends? Would I be able to keep my secret for long? And what happens when they all find out? I couldn't help but worry, it was just something I did all my life.

Finally, the dullness of the scenery and the lack of interaction with another person got to me. I was finally pulled off into the realm of sleep, destination unknown…

After who knows how long, which after a few more trips on the train I've come to estimate about an hour later, I was woken up by some poking and whispering…

"Dude, I think he's dead," one voice said.

"No way, they wouldn't let some dead kid just lay here on the train," the other one said as he poked me once more with the end of his wand.

"Maybe they don't know this kid is dead," the first voice said, he too was now poking me with his wand. I opened one eye ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of these pokers. I saw two boys about my age, one with very unruly black hair and glasses, the other with rather shaggy black hair, but it was shaggy in a classy kind of way that complimented him.

I finally opened my eyes. "I'm not dead," I muttered groggily. I rubbed my eyes as I sat up slowly, the two pokers watching my every move. "I was simply trying to get some sleep."

The first one , with the shaggy hair looked at the second one, who was running a hand through his already messy hair, a trait I would come to learn was just one of his little quirks. I just looked at them both, wondering why there were just standing there, and why they poked me.

The second one caught on to me looking at them and jabbed the first one with his elbow. "Don't just stand there, introduce yourself."

"I was getting there. Keep your robes on. Jeeze!" the first one said rolling his eyes at the other one. He then turned his gaze at me and smiled as he held out a hand. "Hello there, I am Sirius Black."

"And I'm James Potter," the second one said holding out his hand as well. I casually shook both of their hands, still observing these rather eccentric people that were in front of me. "Well, do you have a name?" the one named James asked.

It took me a few minutes for what he really said to sink in, I just shook my head. "Whoa, sorry, just kind of zoned off there for a moment. But yeah, I do have a name. I'm Remus Lupin," I said to them both. They both kind of laughed a bit, and I tried to remain calm. But, part of me was very curious as to what exactly the pair was laughing at.

"Sorry, it's ok," James said to me, giving me a friendly smile.

"Yeah, after all, you did just wake up," Sirius said with a nod, apparently agreeing with James. "So it's ok if you're a little out of it."

"Would you mind if we sat in here with you?" James asked, even though the two were already getting comfortable in my once empty compartment. But, I was glad that they had randomly picked mine to come into for whatever reason. I liked having someone to talk to.

"Oh, it's not a problem at all," I said shaking my head slightly. "So, if you don't mind me asking, why do you need a place to sit half way through the ride?"

Sirius smirked and looked over at James. "Well, tell him what happened Jamesie," he said gesturing towards me. My gaze was then adverted over to James's direction as well now.

"Well, you see," James said as he ran his hand through his hair once more since I've first met him, "we kind of got kicked out of our other one."

"Kicked out?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, wondering what these two had done.

"Yeah, we were sitting with some girls, but after awhile they kicked us out," Sirius said with a nod. "Oh well, who needs girls anyway. Not like they'd like me or something," he said crossing his arms. Of course, now as I look back at that moment, I laugh. The idea that Sirius Black once believed he was doomed to live a life where no girls would ever like him. Of course, that would all start to change about third year, but start to get a tad bit on the ridiculous side around fifth year.

James looked over at him and nodded. "Yeah, who needs girls anyway?" he asked. Of course, most eleven year old boys felt this way. Girls just weren't a priority in our lives.

I nodded my head. "I know I don't," I said agreeing with them. Which, to be honest was true. For some reason, girls scared me. Yes, every month I turned into a vicious werewolf, but I was afraid of girls. They could just cause so much more damage than they realized. It was one thing to get a cut or a scratch, or the occasional bite mark, but having your heart ripped right out of your chest and stomped on in front of you, that was a completely different type of pain. The kind of pain I never wanted to go through, ever. Of course, the other reason I avoided girls was, well, the fact that I was a werewolf. How do you explain that to someone? You really couldn't, at least expect them to keep quiet about it and accept you for what you are. That just doesn't happen.

"Exactly," James said looking over at Sirius. "So just forget about them. You've got your real friends right here." As he said that, I looked over at him. Did he just say friends? Plural? Meaning more than one? He did! He actually just referred to me as one of their friends. I tried not to show how happy something as simple as that made me. After all, I didn't want them to think I was some loser or something.

Sirius nodded his head. "I know, I know," he said. "So, um, Remus was it?" Sirius asked me. I merely nodded my head at him. "So, what's the story on you?"

I blinked a couple times as I looked at them. The story on me? What to say? What not to say. Finally I just shrugged and relaxed in my seat. "Nothin' much. I'm just a guy."

James nodded his head as he put his feet up on the seat across from him. "I hear ya."

Sirius too agreed with the statement. "Yeah, being a guy is totally the way to go through life," he said nodding his head. "It's cool to just hang out with the guys." I nodded my head, I was now one of the guys.

After about another hour on the train, having meaningful conversation and getting to know James and Sirius we finally arrived at the station in Hogsmeade. I looked around in complete awe, and to think, I still hadn't even seen the castle yet. I was just astonished by seeing Hogsmeade and the forest, and the lake. It was all so new.

I was pulled out of my trance like state by a loud booming voice calling out for first years to head in his direction. This man was, well, huge! I had never seen someone so tall in my life before. I had to crane my neck up to look at him. And he spoke in this huge booming voice with a very distinct accent.

"Firs' years over 'ere!" he called out. I simply held on to my belongings and walked over, following behind Sirius and James. Following along behind them was something I would quickly become accustomed to, soon just being second nature to follow them blindly.

As we got over there, we found ourselves on the edge of the lake, a few boats parked on the shore. Catching onto the idea quickly we hopped in one, the three of us sitting together, looking around quietly taking in all of our new surroundings.

The boat ride wasn't so bad, we were lucky in the fact that it was a calm night, fairly warm as well, perfect for a little boat ride across the lake. I looked up and I saw all the stars, and the moon. Of course, I let out a heavy sigh as I saw that. Luckily it was only a quarter moon, I still had plenty of time before the next full moon.

Before I knew it, the boat ride was half over and that's when I saw it. For the first time in my life, I saw Hogwarts castle. My eyes grew wide and my jaw dropped. I could never in my life imagine something so magnificent and wondrous. I looked over at James and Sirius who had much the same expression on their face. It was just so incredible seeing the castle slowly come over the horizon until there it was right in front of us. 

We all clambered out of the boats and were ushered over to a lady with a funny hat on. She didn't look as friendly as the large man did, but none the less I once again followed Sirius and James over there. Apparently we were supposed to follow her. I missed what she said because I was too distracted as I looked around, but the heard of first years had started moving inside, and once more I followed Sirius and James.

The group walked into a large hall, the Great Hall to be exact. I had never seen anything like it. Being from a family of wizards and witches I was accustomed to the moving pictures, but the enchanted ceiling! Whoa! That was a head rush. I was so caught up in looking at the ceiling that when the line stopped I ran right into James.

"Hey, watch it!" James said looking back at me. I just gave him an apologetic look and shrugged. As soon as everyone got settled in, I looked back up at the ceiling spacing out once more. I didn't even know how long I had been like that, or what was even going on until I heard my name.

"Lupin, Remus?" the lady had said. Apparently she had called my name twice already. I shot out of my trance and looked around seeing James and Sirius gone. I had absolutely no idea what was going on. Finally some girl behind me tapped my shoulder.

"You're supposed to go up there and get sorted," she whispered to me. I looked at her, the girl gave me a friendly smile and pointed up. The girl was actually, rather pretty. She had these vibrant green eyes and dark red hair pulled back into a high ponytail.

"Thanks," I said to her as I headed up to the front. I gave the lady an apologetic smile as I took a seat. She then proceeded to put this rather old, and smelly, hat on my head. I nearly jumped out of my seat as it spoke!

"Hmm, you definitely have some courage in you. I can see that. Hmm, I think I know where I shall put you. Better be….GRYFFINDOR!" the hat said to me, shouting out the last part for the entire hall to hear. As the lady looked over, I saw one of the tables had its members standing and cheering loudly for me. I looked over and smiled, that was my house. I noticed that that too was where James and Sirius had disappeared to and I went over to join them.

"Hey buddy! You're in Gryffindor with us!" James said as he made room for me to sit next to them.

"Yep, you're one of us!" Sirius said throwing a friendly arm around my shoulders as he gave me a smile. I smiled back at them, being truly happy. I finally felt like I belonged.


	3. Reflections of a First Year

Outside of meeting Sirius and James and being sorted, the first few days of Hogwarts were pretty much the same for any new student. I was busy trying to learn the names of other students, learn the rules, learn where in the hell I was going. I was simply too busy learning to do anything else. But, there are some highlights to share.

Of course, on that first night at Hogwarts, I entered the Gryffindor Common Room for the first of many times in my life. It was a really nice place, all warm and cozy decorated in deep reds and gold. I really felt at home in there, which was good because it was going to become my home away from home for the next seven years of my life. And I can honestly say, those next seven years, and the two to follow was really the best and happiest time of my life.

After a couple of days, Sirius, James and I started to get to know more people in our house. We were a great trio, but that trio soon became for with the addition of another boy named Peter Pettigrew. Now, to be honest none of us really invited him to become part of our group. He simply just followed us around because he didn't really have any other friends.

The other person I got to meet was that girl who had helped me figure out what to do during the sorting. Her name was Lily Evans. I wasn't sure what it was, but there was just something different about her. Of course, I didn't see her as some of the other guys in our house did. I remember sitting in the common room one evening and Lily just happened to walk by. Of course, when she walks by, every guy seems to just go silent and watches her pass on by. I on the other hand, well, didn't. She was just some other person who happened to be a Gryffindor.

Of course, I soon came to learn that Lily wasn't' just some other person in Gryffindor. She was like, one of the smartest people ever. I don't mean just in class, I mean common sense wise as well, which was something the average eleven year old boy lacked in severely. I was never really sure if I fit that description, average. I mean, I wasn't really average. I had some of the top grades, a little bit taller than the other guys, and of course I was hiding my big secret. So, I guess you could say I wasn't average. I was in my own completely different category. But I didn't mind, because no one else seemed to notice that I wasn't average, that I wasn't normal and that made me feel really good. I didn't want everyone else to know. It was my secret and I wanted to keep it that way.

Anyways, back to Lily. You see, Lily Evans was one of the only people, other than maybe my professors who knew my secret who asked me if I was feeling ok on a day before and after a full moon. Those 18 days in the school year where my life was true hell. I would look so pale, and to tired, and just feel completely miserable, not to mention the almost unbearable headaches that lasted the whole week before that dreadful evening. And of course, there was the aftermath, coming in to classes the next day so exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open. In fact, around March I had become the expert in sleeping while sitting up perfectly straight. I could sleep in class and you wouldn't even know it. Plus, I had a lovely collection of scratches, scars and gashes from my monthly romps in the Shrieking Shack…

Ah, the Shrieking Shack, the home of my werewolf self. Very few people knew why the house was built the summer of 1971, but I do. It was built by Dumbledore just for me. It was a safe place for me to go and transform once a month. This was before wolfsbane was created though. I thank Merlin everyday for the creation of that truly magical potion.

Anyways, back to the Shrieking Shack. Yes, the most haunted place in Britain wasn't really haunted at all. The shrieks and cries of pain that the people heard once a month were actually just me. Which, makes me really wonder exactly how pitiful I must have sounded for people to think the place was haunted. And of course, with the Shack in Hogsmeade I needed a safe way to get there. So, Dumbledore planted the Whomping Willow. The willow guarded the secret entrance to a tunnel that lead straight up into the Shack. Dumbledore was always a smart man, always thinking about ways to help people out.

I was always glad that the Shrieking Shack was there. It was my little safe place to be when I was very unsafe. Even if you go in there today I'm sure you can see my path of destruction. Pieces of furniture ripped up, scratch marks on walls, bite marks, all sorts of things. These added up over the seven years, growing even larger in number around fifth year.

But, enough about me being a werewolf, I'm pretty sure I've gotten that point across. After all, that's not the only thing that ever happened to me. I did have a life outside of classes and being a vicious monster once a month. After all, I had friends now.

One of the greatest things about going to Hogwarts, every year you get to head out to the pitch and see six live quidditch matches a year. Now, before going to Hogwarts I knew about quidditch, but I had never seen a real live game played in front of me. It was amazing to watch, simply amazing. And the fact that my best friends were very into the game as well made it even more fun to sit in the stands enjoying the match. We really got into the matches too. We would show up on the pitch with our faces painted in red and gold, ready to cheer on the Gryffindor team whenever they were playing. Simply put, we were crazy about the game. And at every match, James had to remind us that one day, it was going to be him we were cheering on. As an ambitious eleven year old, James was convinced that he was going to be a professional quidditch player one day. Of course, being an eleven year old myself, I believed he was going to be one.

Another one of my memorable memories of first year was my first Christmas at Hogwarts. That was something completely different than I had ever experienced in my life. Everything was just so festive, I had never seen so many Christmas decorations in my life. And it was all over the castle too, not just in a couple spots here and there. It was everywhere! But the coolest part was in the Great Hall, which boasted the biggest Christmas tree that I had ever seen in my life. It was so big people had to use levitating spells to put the ornaments on the top. If it was one thing I really liked about Hogwarts, it was that they knew how to decorate for the season.

And the presents! Normally I just get one or two presents from my parents on Christmas morning. But here, I woke up to find not only the presents from my parents, but ones from both Sirius and James. Of course, I had a terrible feeling in the bottom of my stomach knowing I didn't get either of them anything. Then again, they both had a lot more funds to spend on things like Christmas presents than I did. Which of course, made me feel even worse. I quick grabbed some parchment and quick made them each a little Christmas card. Hey, it was the thought that counted right? Besides, to be really honest, I can't even remember what it was that James and Sirius had gotten for me that Christmas.

Of course, that Christmas also started something else that would just escalate further over the next seven years. James's relationship with Lily. Up until that point, Lily was rather neutral to James and James, much like everyone else in the house thought her to be rather pretty. But, one single action changed that all. Well, rather just how Lily saw James.

The four of us, James, Sirius, Peter and I, were all outside playing in what was a rather large amount of white, fluffy snow that laid on the ground. Of course, Sirius gets this bright idea, makes a rather large snowball and chucks it right at James's head. James just laughed and soon, all four of us were caught in this large snowball fight. Soon enough, we got tired and we all just sat in the snow. Of course, Sirius gets bored, and he and James decide to start throwing snowballs at random passer bys. One of those people just happened to be Lily.

As she passed by, James happened to make a rather large snowball and threw it at her, hitting her right in the back of the head. Lily was not amused. She didn't laugh and throw one back like the other people had done, but instead turned around looking over at a laughing James. She was pissed.

"What did you do that for?" she asked him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You were there," James said simply.

"Oh, so you throw snowballs at anyone who walks past you?" Lily asked, looking more upset by his response.

"Yeah, pretty much," James said nodding, not seeing a big deal at all. "Do it to everyone, nothing personal Evans."

"Oh! Boys!" she muttered as she turned around, heading up into the castle, brushing the snow out of her hair. Sirius and James on the other hand just laughed at her walking away. And that, is the only the start of a long run of events that gave Lily her ammunition for calling James arrogant and a jerk.

First year really was a platform from which everything else just launched from. It was definitely a very influential year for me. I learned so much more than what was taught in my lessons as well. I learned how to function in society more effectively. I was making friends, interacting with people more rather than just sitting up in my dorm or in a corner by myself. For me, that was a really big step in personal achievement.

But along with learning new social skills, I did learn a lot in my lessons. And honestly, I did really well. I worked hard to earn my grades, doing each assignment to the best of my ability, studying for my tests and practicals. After all, I wanted to make not only my parents proud, but myself, my professors, my friends. I wanted everyone to be proud of the work I did and was capable of doing. I was in terrible need for acceptance and approval. I liked being told and reassured that I was doing well. So, I figured if I did exceptionally well in my classes that I would get that.

Of course, I worked hard all the time to get the grades that I got. James and Sirius on the other hand started slacking off half way through the year and still seemed able to get the same grades that I did. I was always jealous of them for this. I had to sit and read the book for an hour to get the same comprehension of something that they got from skimming the text. But, I got over it. I knew that one day it would catch up to them and in the end I would be rewarded for working hard all the time.

I think I was rewarded when exams came around. I studied so hard for them, falling asleep in a chair in the Common Room, a book in my lap, several times. I wanted to be prepared, I wanted to ace those exams. Finally when the time came to take them, I passed them with such ease that I surprised myself. After the end of my first year, I honestly believed myself to be a more educated and completely different person than I was when I first stepped on that platform at King's Cross Station at the beginning of the year. I was starting to slowly become the Remus Lupin that everyone so fondly remembers.


	4. A Second Look at a Second Year

Now, to be honest, as one grows older most things don't change drastically between years at school. Especially just the shift from first to second. The only difference upon returning to Hogwarts for the second time that wasn't there from the first was that: one, I had to find my friends on the platform then get a compartment with them; two, we took a carriage up to the castle from Hogsmeade rather than the boats that we had taken our first year; three, we watched the sorting as established Gryffindors rather than participating; and four, we knew our way around the castle already. Other than those things, it was pretty much the same thing. But, there were a few things that did change, and the things that did change were both small, but would eventually come to be something bigger, and one that was simply life changing.

One of the small things was the arrival of the new first years. No, no other year had the arrival of first years meant anything to me. But, this year, there was something different, or rather someone different. Of course, through the entirety of the sorting I had to put up with Sirius's scowling over his younger brother Regulus now attending school. And, just as Sirius predicted he was sorted right away into Slytherin, which only caused more griping from Sirius.

"That little twit, now he's really gonna think he's the better one," Sirius muttered during the feast as he practically stabbed his food. "But, you know what. I don't care. Nope, I don't care," he said still mashing up his food even more now. Even if Sirius said it didn't bother him, I could always tell it did that his family thought higher of his younger brother than they did of him.

Around halfway through the feast, several of the first years got up, heading over to meet up with their prefects. Of course, being the "little twit" that he was, Regulus had to start something. He went over to some innocent girl and yanked hard on her ponytail. Sirius of course jumped up out of his seat, and crawled over the table to get his brother away from her. James and I got up right after to go help.

Sirius tackled his younger brother down to the ground, a crowd of both Slytherins and Gryffindors gathering around to watch the Black boys wrestling on the floor of the Great Hall. "What the bloody hell did you go and do that for!" Sirius shouted as he hit his younger brother rather hard over the head with his hand.

"She's a filthy mudblood!" Regulus shot back. "Don't tell me you've on and become a mudblood lover, because I'm sure mother and father would love that," he said with a smirk. Sirius lost it at that and the two kept fighting on the floor, soon James joining in to help his friend. I on the other hand went over to make sure the girl that he had harassed was ok.

I went over to her, and she just looked rather confused on everything, like she didn't quite understand what had happened. "Hey, are you ok?" I asked her rather calmly. 

She nodded her head and held on to her ponytail made of a lovely brown hairs. There were a few tears in her eyes, seeing as Regulus had pulled on her hair rather hard. "Yeah, why did he do that though? I didn't do anything to him."

I sighed and quick glanced over to see that Sirius and Regulus were still fighting, no one really bothering to do anything about it either. "Well, see that one there, with the shorter hair," I said pointing at the two boys fighting. "That's Regulus Black. Pureblood. He doesn't exactly think highly of people who come here with muggle parents."

The girl just looked over and nodded understanding. "Is that what mud…"

"Don't say that," I said cutting her off. "It's a really nasty term for someone like yourself. Not everyone here is like that, just the stupid one's like Regulus."

"Oh, so I guess you're one of the good ones then?" she asked me with a small smile.

I found myself blushing slightly, and nodding. "I guess you could say that."

The girl kept smiling at me still. "Well, does this good guy have a name?"

I laughed slightly and nodded. "Yeah, his name would be Remus Lupin. He's a second year in Gryffindor," I said holding my hand out to her.

The girl, who seemed to be smiling a lot for someone who just got their ponytail practically yanked off her head and called a mudblood. "Well, I'm Rebecca Holmes, just sorted into Gryffindor," she said as she shook my hand. Just then, the prefect was calling for the first years from Gryffindor to follow him. "Well, see you around," she said waving back at me as she followed the crowd.

"Yeah, see you around," I said with a nod as I watched her go. I may have never said it then, or for years later at that matter, but from that moment on, I was completely caught up in everything about that girl. I couldn't put my finger on what it was, whether it was her beautiful brown hair or her big brown eyes, or her sweet smile. I don't know what it was, but whatever it was, I was hooked.

So that was one little thing that changed, I now knew Rebecca Holmes, and she….wow. You know, no matter how hard I tried, I could never really say everything that I thought and felt about her. There's just too much to say at this time. As I keep going on, you're bound to start to piece together how exactly I feel about her.

But, another thing that started to change was another relationship. You see a couple days after Regulus's assault on Rebecca after the feast things were a little tense between the Slytherins and the Gryffindors. Of course, who other than Serverus Snape was in Slytherin. Of course, he was never fond of anyone in Gryffindor, in fact, I'm not sure if he was ever fond of anyone at all come to think of it. Anyway, he was not fond of Gryffindors, but at this point, his status with James was neutral. Of course, that was destined to change.

One day, while in Professor Slughorn's potion class, of course, we were all hard at work. Some of us were definitely better at the class than others. Both Snape and Lily were some of those people you wanted to be when it came to potion making. They were the top two in our year. I don't think either of them ever messed up on a potion. Of course, Snape wasn't too fond of being outdone by some girl of muggle descent. It just wasn't right in his mind.

So, he came up with some master plan and must have slipped something into Lily's cauldron while she went to get something for her potion. Needless to say, it wasn't something meant to be in her potion and reacted. Lily came back to find her potion ultimately destroyed and boy was she mad. Unfortunately, just at that moment, Sirius had told James a joke, which of course made him break out into a hysteric fit of laughter. And Lily seeing James laughing, she automatically thinks that he must have been the culprit who destroyed her perfect potion.

"Potter! How could you!" Lily shouted at him from across the room. "You ruined it you idiot!"

James just looked over completely bewildered at why he was being yelled at. "What in the world are you talking about Evans? My potion is fine."

"I wasn't talking about your potion you prat! I was talking about how you ruined mine!" Lily said as she crossed her arms. By this time Professor Slughorn had heard the shouting match and came over and inspected Lily's potion.

"Yes, this has indeed been tainted," he said with a nod. "Potter, detention tonight." 

James's jaw just dropped. He couldn't believe it. He hadn't done anything at all yet he was getting the blame. He then looked over and saw Snape snickering to himself about the whole scene. James just squinted his eyes and gave him the death stare. Snape was definitely going to pay for that little mistake.

After class is really when the real drama started. Everyone was packing up, and James went a tad bit slower than normal, watching Snape. The rest of us, Sirius, Peter and myself waited for him.

"Come on James," Sirius groaned. "I wanna get out of here today!" 

"Just hold on, I have some things I need to sort out," he said glancing at Snape who was on his way out. After he walked out James grabbed his things. "Ok, we can go," he said hurrying out, us following behind him. James was walking rather fast down the hall to catch up with Snape. "Hey! You there!" he said pointing his wand at him.

Snape turned around and looked at him. "What do you want?" he asked.

"You ruined Evan's potion today didn't you?" James asked walking up to him.

"She asked for it, little mudblood thinks she's better than all of us," Snape scowled.

"Hey there, don't you be talking about her like that," James said poking him with his wand.

"Or else what?" Snape asked him, crossing his arms.

"You don't want to know," James said glaring at him. "Just don't mess with Evans again."

"I'll do what I want, you can't stop me," Snape said turning and walking.

"Oh yeah!" James said. "Well…I can to!" he said. James then said something, but either way it made Snape's feet stick to floor. Sirius just laughed as James had a satisfied smirk on his face. "Told you I could."

Snape glared at him, not too happy with his state of immobility at the moment. "You're going to pay for this Potter." Snape pulled his wand out and shot a spell right at James. Next thing we knew James had a nice set of antlers poking out of his head. 

"You know Potter, normally I would say you look stupid, but that wouldn't mean much considering you normally do," Snape said with a smirk.

James was starting to get upset, and raises his wand again, but Sirius stepped in. He smiled at James. "Actually, I think they look right sharp on you there Jamesie."

I caught on to what he was getting at and nodded. "Yeah, plus, how many guys have antlers? I bet the girls will love it," I said smiling at James as well. Snape just looked at us, trying hard to free his legs from their stuck position.

"You know, I bet you two are right. Come on, we've got better things do to than staying here," James said leading the way down the hall, leaving Snape stuck to the floor. As we left we could hear Snape muttering a few insults mixed in with words of profanity directed at all four of us. We just shrugged it off. James may have one that battle, but I knew it was only the start of a much bigger war. There was no way Snape was going to just let that slide and forget about it.

In fact as the year went on, my theory of that little battle becoming a bigger war was proven correctly. Snape and James were caught fighting several times in the hallways over the year. Sometimes the attack was provoked, others it wasn't. But either way, something happened and someone shot a hex, curse, jinx, something like that at the other person. Often it was James to strike first. Towards the end of the year he was proving himself to be a little wand happy when it came to dealing with a problem. It was this that often got him an evening in detention.

It was also second year when James gave Snape is little nickname. You see, one day when they were in the midst of fighting, they both got caught in the act. Snape got off by whimpering to the professor, James got an evening in detention, as usual. So, James started calling him "Snivellus" because he went and whined his way out of trouble every time.

So, once again, another relationship pattern that would affect the rest of our years at Hogwarts, and for some of us, ultimately the rest of our lives was all started one day in second year. But, like I said, that wasn't all that happened that really changed things. After all, I still had my secret, which was bound to get out sooner or later. It was really only just a matter of time…


	5. The Discovery

Of course everyone has a little secret they want to keep to themselves. But, some secrets are just a little bigger than others. Mine of course was a big secret. I had no desire to let I get out either. I didn't want all my friends and fellow classmates to know what I really was, what the truth about me was. I wanted to keep it all to myself.

But, like any good secret in Hogwarts, it didn't stay a secret for too long. I'm not sure what exactly it was that made my closest friends piece it together, but slowly but surely they did. As I said before, James and Sirius were smart. Really smart. So, I guess now that I look back it wasn't a matter of how they found out, more rather what took them so long. After all, isn't a bit odd that days before and after full moons your best friend looked horrible? That and the my unexplainable love for anything chocolate. I remember fondly of Sirius comparing the week before a full moon as my version of pms. I mean, the horrible headaches, the slight irritability, the cravings for chocolate, it all made sense.

Anyways, back to second year, before they knew everything. By the time that James and Sirius figured it out, it was already towards the end of the year. March in fact. March of 1973 not only changed my life, but that of James, Sirius and Peter too. Them finding out about me being a werewolf was a big deal. And when they did figure it out, I was so scared, so nervous that I wouldn't have any friends anymore, that they would freak out and tell everyone leaving me ostracized and an outcast for the rest of my schooling career. I didn't want that! I wanted to keep the friends I had! I loved feeling normal, I really did. Feeling normal was simply something I had wanted my entire life and I had finally gotten it, only to be afraid of loosing that feeling once more.

But how they found out…now as I said, those two were smart. They slowly started making sense of it, but they couldn't exactly figure our what exactly was ailing me. They would frequently ask me what was wrong more and more as March approached. Soon, they began noticing that once a month I wasn't in the dorms, I was somewhere else.

James and Sirius were bound and determined to figure out what was going on with me. They weren't fans of being left in the dark by anyone, especially one of their friends. Even as young second years the pair was too curious and too rambunctious for their own good. And me disappearing one night a month was a good enough cause to suspect me of being up to something. And knowing them, they were simply curious as to what I was up to, and if they could join in. But, they simply couldn't. It wasn't safe for them. When I transformed I wasn't myself. I couldn't tell who my best friends were, I was simply a dangerous monster unable to control my own actions. I was simply ashamed of that fact. I felt like I was some monster, some horrible person that didn't deserve the friends I had, only because I was worried one day they would be in the wrong place at the wrong time and something very bad would happen.

But, fortunately I was lucky enough to have the best friends in the world. When they did find out, they didn't shun me or make false accusations on my nature. Instead, they were inspired by me, moved by my strength and courage in dealing with my situation. As I said, it wasn't my choice to become a werewolf. The affliction is a cursed, and any person affected by it has my deepest condolences, for I know what its like.

In order to truly figure out what I was doing, Sirius and James came up with a half thought out plan. On one of those nights I went out, they were going to follow me. Of course, James and Sirius were experts when it came to following a person. They used something James had, but at the time I didn't know about. Inherited from his father, who inherited it from his father and so forth, James was blessed with the availability of having a cloak of invisibility. A very rare item, and some how, one had fallen into the Potter family's hands. So with that available to him, they took the cloak and hid under it and followed me out one night.

I was in a horrible state of pain, as always right before a full moon, but I tried my hardest not to let anyone know. I just put on my regular black cloak and headed out for the Whomping Willow. I had no idea I was being followed. In fact, out of all my insecurities of people finding out about me being a werewolf, I had never even thought about the possibility of being followed. Even knowing Sirius and James's curious nature I had never thought that they would catch on and follow me out one night. But they did.

I simply kept walking, completely unaware of their presence. After pressing the knot on the willow, I headed down into the secret entrance hidden under one of the roots that happened to be sticking out. I crawled in and headed down the tunnel towards the Shrieking Shack. Merlin how I hated nights of the full moon. I just hated them more than anything. 

After a long walk, of course still being followed by Sirius and James unknowingly, I finally made it into the Shack. Towards the end of my second year the once nice interior was now mostly in shards thanks to my destructive behavior that took place inside once a month. It was nothing I do could help with, but I still felt bad about ruining the place. But, then again, if it kept the rest of the students safe and kept his secret safe, it was worth it.

I sighed heavily as I looked around, and went and sat by the window looking out, just waiting for the moment. James and Sirius on the other hand had no clue why I was in the Shack by myself, and they wanted to know. The both his somewhere, exactly where I'm not to sure about. But soon, my secret was blown wide open…

Now, the problem of transforming into a werewolf is that you lose all knowledge of your former self. You have no recognition of your friends, family, you can't recall memories, all of that is gone. And, the loss of memories goes vice-versa. After I change back into myself, I have completely no idea what so I ever I did that night. I'll remember changing, then it will be as if I woke up and nothing had happened. The only way I do know it even happened is the immense amount of pain and scratches and property damage that I felt and saw. 

But after the long night, I was informed of everything that had happened by the shocked, and downright scared, pairing of Sirius and James. They had hidden themselves in a closet under James's invisibility cloak. And you would think that after seeing me transform and how dangerous I was that they would just run back to school and not talk to me anymore. No, instead they proved how great of friends they were.

From that moment on both Sirius and James vowed to find a way to help me somehow. They vowed to become animagi, each of them. Of course, at the time I thought they were crazy. Of course, also at the time I was a dazed second year afraid of losing his friends after they discovered what I really was. It's hard telling your best friends your deepest secrets, mostly because there is a reason you kept it from a secret from them. And when they find out, who knows how they're going to react. You always hope they take it well, but there is always that chance they'll not take it so well.

Luckily for me, they did take it well, and more importantly, they promised to keep it a secret from anyone else. Not only had they promised not to tell anyone, but also, to help keep people from getting suspicious about things they way they had. I definitely did not need people following me out to the Shack. If they did, they took a big risk in the chance of getting really hurt. I don't know what I would do if I had found out that I bit someone. Because, I wish this curse on no one, especially someone who would only have been a student like myself at that point.

I still don't know what I would have done if I hadn't made friends with Sirius and James. I assume I would just be a mess, either that or possibly a hermit who just hid on his bed up in the dorms doing nothing but studying and being paranoid of someone finding out about my secret. But, even after Sirius and James found out I was still a bit reserved, maybe even a little bit on the edge as well. After all, we could still somehow not end up friends and then they could go around blabbing out that I was werewolf to the entire school. So, with them knowing is where my pattern of behavior of letting both Sirius and James really do what they want without me stepping in. After all, at that time I was so happy about having friends, and so anxious about keeping them, and my secret safe, that I didn't want to take the risk of them not being my friends anymore.

As I look back, I almost feel sorry for myself. All these conflicting emotions, most of them being pent up inside of me, the fact of dealing with the fact of me being a werewolf, what kind of sick fate lets a poor twelve year old boy go through that? At the time, I never realized how almost downright depressing my first couple of years at Hogwarts were, but as I look back I realize they were. And there were very things that I can attribute to the slow and steady change in my persona over the years. One of them is me being friends with such outrageous characters such as James and Sirius, and I honestly thank Merlin everyday I had them. Without them, I simply wouldn't be me. After all, you tend to open up more around those two, not only get a certain reputation for being so closely associated with the two.

Of course, it wasn't just us three either. We had Peter. Peter wasn't exactly as tight as us three, but he was still a friend. Of course, all through first year, he was just the guy who followed us around, but as we got to know him, we came to realize he was an ok guy. So, we let him in our little circle as the fourth member. Peter though wasn't out there that night with Sirius and James. I don't know if he chickened out and didn't come, or simply wasn't invited at all. There were several things that Sirius and James did on their own with out Peter and I.

But, seeing as Peter wasn't out there, I gave Sirius and James permission to tell him the truth about me. They of course did so for me. Apparently, they also threatened him an inch to his life if he told anyone else about it. Me being a werewolf was to be kept a secret between us four, no other students are to know. I simply didn't want them to. I had been so scared about telling those three, and so relieved they took it well and all, but sure, those were my best friends. I'm fairly sure the entire student body wouldn't take the news about me as well as they had. Peter had also agreed to do the extra studying to become an animagus to help me out.

Never in my life had I ever been so grateful. These three guys were the best people in the world in my eyes. They stayed my friends where as most people would have left. And not only had they stayed, but they agreed to help me and support me in the times I really needed them the most. Those three guys completely changed my life that year. I suddenly had more trust in people, more self confidence in myself, and I was all around more happy. The things that can happen one night on a full moon.


	6. Turmoil of Third Year

Of course, after second year comes third year. One of the momentous occasions was that now, officially, I Remus Lupin, was a teenager. Sure, it was only thirteen, but in my eyes, and also in the eyes of my friends, we were full blown teenagers. And that, that was definitely exciting. We weren't kids anymore, we were now in that awkward phase between being a child and being an adult. That special time in every young boys life where, well, maybe I shouldn't get into that. After all, for a young boy who's already dealing with self image issues, puberty definitely isn't the best time in his life. Although, at least I was relieved that I wasn't the only dealing with it.

Of course, somehow the idea of dealing with a changing, growing body didn't seem to phase me as much as it did the other guys. I don't know, maybe it was because I transformed into something completely different from myself once a month that the changes didn't effect me. After all, there are just some parts of growing up as a guy that don't really change anything when you're a werewolf. Sure, you noticed some things, we were all a little taller, all rather scrawny, not quite filling out our bodies yet, plus, the voices. I do believe it was the funniest moments in my seven years at school hearing Sirius's voice crack when answering a question in class one day. After all, here was the cool, confident guy all of a sudden having the high pitched voice of a little girl. Hilarious in my opinion. 

But aside from our changing bodies, there was another thing changing about us. For one thing, there was something I was noticing. Girls. Now, I've always noticed them, its just that I was noticing them in a completely different way. All of a sudden they weren't just people who went to school with me that just happened to have longer hair and well…weren't guys. But, they had…well, girl bodies! Especially the older ones. Of course, girls tended to have more of an effect on me than anything else at that time did. They, well, got me, well not only me but every other guy that age, they simply got us…excited. It wasn't anything I could control or anything, believe me on that. There are just some things you don't need in the middle of class, and well, yeah… I'm slightly red just even thinking about those awkward moments.

Of course, it wasn't as bad as James. He quickly learned one of the most important rules of that awkward phase, and we all learned from his mistake. He was dressed for quidditch practice when we went down for dinner. Of course, everyone was down there, including Lily. James had started becoming rather fond of her, but he never said anything to her about how he felt. But he saw her cross her legs and his fork simply fell out of his hand. Lily might have looked at him oddly, but she leaned across the table, to pick it up for him, seeing as James was practically paralyzed. Of course, judging by James and Sirius's expressions, I have a feeling they saw little bit more than they planned on seeing of Lily that evening. Well, to make a long story short and less awkward, from that moment on we all learned that sweatpants and track pants are a big no no in that time. Also, Lily learned how much James actually liked her.

I never had that problem, well, at least noticeably. I mean, I'm sorry, but every guy has had that issue come up at least once growing up. If they say otherwise, they are so lying. Anyways, girls. I was already slightly frightened of them, but now that they produced an unwelcome side-effect with their presence I was even more nervous around them. I changed into this fidgety mess that just bumbling over my own words. So, I normally avoided them to save myself from embarassment. I guess this is what started my reputation as being the quiet good one.

But, there was definitely one girl who always made me fumble on my words. I couldn't help but embarrass myself in front of her when I saw her. Of course, Sirius always questioned my logic of why I went for a second year when I could be after the more curvatious sixth and seventh year girls. I didn't care about that kind of thing, I was perfectly content being completely captivated by that girl I met at the sorting last year, Rebecca. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something about her. Something that I just was fascinated by every little thing about her. Of course, I never said I liked her, but I couldn't help but wonder if she knew by some of me more erratic behavior that occurred when she was near me.

Like, there was this one time and I was walking somewhere, where exactly I can't remember, but does that really matter? Anyways, I was walking with Sirius and James and Peter, as usual, when she walked by. She was with her friends and gave us her cute little smile and waved. I promptly turned right around to wave back, not even noticing the upcoming corner. Of course, I kept waving like a complete lunatic, having the stupidest look on my face. Finally, I realized she wasn't looking and I turned around to see a wall. A wall I happened to be walking right into. Of course, what happened next I don't really know, I kind of blacked out. All I remember is waking up on the floor of the hallway to see James, Sirius, and Peter hovering over me laughing a bit.

"Walked right into that one didn't he?" James asked with a smirk, finding his comment rather amusing.

Sirius just nodded in agreement. "Yeah, gotta watch out for those sudden turns mate. Many people miss them. See students running into walls all the time in these parts," he said, wearing a matching smirk to James's.

"Guys, it's not that funny," I muttered as I sat up slowly with a tremendous headache.

"Yes it was. You should have seen your face," Peter said as the three of them helped me stand up. "One moment you're wearing a look of complete awe, the next the look of confusion on why there is a wall inches from your nose," he said with a smile.

"Yeah, well, it really hurt," I said rubbing my head. And it did really hurt. Of course, I would like to say that was the last time I did something stupid, or even the last time I ran into a wall because of Rebecca. But, the truth is, it's not. I messed up words in sentences and walked into walls and people and other objects. Once I got myself tangled in a suit of armor. Well, needless to say, after all my stupid actions, I was pretty sure I had lost any chance I had of getting her. By the end of the year, I was pretty sure I had no chance with any girl at all.

After all, it wasn't just my awkwardness around the girls that kept me at bay, but also the fact that I was still a werewolf and nothing was going to change that. I mean, what kind of girl would go around proudly saying "my boyfriend's a werewolf?" Huh? No girl would do that. At least, not a sane one. So, not wanting to break any hearts, or have my own broken, I decided that it was just be good for me to, well, avoid girls all together. It was simply for the best not to get involved with anyone. But, I was just a stupid thirteen year old then, what did I know? Nothing really, although my grades never showed that.

I was still a model student, always doing my work, always getting crap from Sirius and James about actually doing it. See, third year is also when you could start to tell the distinct difference between us all. James and Sirius were now starting to rack up several detentions for random acts of disobedience, and just starting to get into pranking in the end of the year. Mostly on our dear pal Snivellus. James never did let that little mishap in second year go. Oh no, he felt that Snape still had to pay for getting him that detention and for getting him on Lily's bad side. He was never going to forget that.

Sirius and James's pranking career was still small and not too imaginative at this stage, but of course they were only beginners. I was asked a couple times to join in, but I never did. I never said it, but I thought it was stupid and wrong what they were doing. Sure, James and Snape had gotten into a tiff, but that was at the beginning of second year, this was now the end of third year. Almost two years later! Wasn't it time to just let it go already? But, I never told them how I really felt about it, ever. Not even after Hogwarts did they know I really disapproved of their actions. I couldn't tell them, they were my friends and I didn't want to lose them.

So, once more, another reason to stay quiet. And that's what I did. I was the quiet one who didn't participate in the pranks, thus, making me the quiet good one out of us four. And that label would stick with me forever. Not that I minded, I mean, being the good one isn't bad right? It's good to be good. At least I think so. Well, either way, I have no regrets or remorse over my decisions. I just wish I knew everything I knew now back then. Would have made a big difference. And maybe saved me a couple of headaches.


	7. Fourth Year Follies

As fourth year came around, I was a little bit wiser, but still just as clumsy. I was so sure I was never going to grow out of my awkward phase. I was still the bumbling fool who ran into walls at a simple hello from a girl. And yet, I felt somewhat better knowing I wasn't the only one. You see, fourth year, we all thought we were out of the woods from the little mishaps we had occurring in third year. We felt that we, were now men. Of course, we were far from it. But we were fourth years, half the school was younger than us. Plus, James and Sirius were starting to gain a certain reputation around the school. They had gotten more into pranking and were getting noticed for it.

It wasn't always good attention though. Towards the end of third year, James had started to grow rather fond of a one Miss Evans. Of course, Lily was definitely not too fond of him. She never forgave him for the snowball to the head in first year, or thinking he ruined her potion in second year, or the constant hexing of people who looked at him wrong, or the starting of the pranks in the end of third year, or his increasing self-confidence. She simply did not have a high impression of him.

Not only did the pranking put Lily at odds with James, but it also grabbed the attention of the staff at school. That was definitely negative attention that they didn't need. Soon it became if something odd or strange happened around the castle, you asked Sirius and James for their alibis. Of course, they normally had one, and I being the good friend vouched for them, even if I really had absolutely idea where they had been. Of course, I always felt bad about lying, but I was still worried that if I was not the friend they could go to and trust to help them out that they wouldn't want me to be their friend at all. No matter how old I got, I still had that need to be accepted. And with Sirius and James, that's what I got. Great friends who accepted me. I just didn't want to lose them.

I remember this one time a prank draw some definite negative attention. You see, James was never going to let Snape forget that he needed to get him back. But the thing is, Snape was never going to quit trying to get James back for what he did to achieve revenge. So it became an endless cycle of them trying to get revenge on each other for previous events. It was something that could simply be ended by one of them just becoming the bigger person and just stopping their attempt to get revenge on each other. But I knew that wasn't going to happen. Why? Because the two of them became so obsessed with finally beating the other one, that the reason why they even started fighting in the first place got lost. Gaining revenge was gone, and replaced with each others simple hatred for the other.

Anyways, James felt it was ultimately necessary to do something to Snape. After all, Snape was…well… Snape! In James's mind there was no other reason needed in order to make Snape's life a living hell. And this time, oh this time James had come up with something genius to do to him.

"Gentleman, I've got it!" James said with a smile as he walked into the common room. He normally did have a smile on his face, but this smile was different. I had come to learn his smiles. I know it sounds odd, but he really only had four. One when he was trying to be polite and was being charming such as when he was getting him and Sirius out of trouble, one when he was enjoying something and was happy, one that he only had on his face when Lily was around, and this one. His smile that simply said that he was up to no good.

"Well, out with it James," Sirius said, also knowing something was up due to James's expression. "What have you got?" he asked sitting up straight in his seat. I could tell how eager Sirius was to hear what James had to say. Sirius was the kind of guy who slouched in his seat, or lounged around casually, but when he sat up, he was paying attention and anxious for something to be said.

Even I was a bit anxious as to what James was up to. "Yes James, tell us already. You have our attention," I said, putting down my book.

James just smiled brightly as he sat down in his usual spot, the armchair by the couch that both Sirius and I had been sitting on. "I have planned the perfect prank to get Snivellus with," he said confidently.

Sirius smiled at him. "Ooh, really? What is it? Huh? Huh? Huh?" he asked excitedly, bouncing excitedly in his seat.

"Dude, calm down," James said with a laugh. "But seriously, this has to be my most brilliant plan. I was in the library, studying…"

"You mean watching Evans studying when you say that right?" Sirius interjected with a mischievous smirk across his lips.

"Shut it, I'm telling you something every important. And, there is no need to involve the lovely Miss Evans in this," James said, smiling still. He let out a slight sigh, obviously sidetracked.

I got up and waved a hand in front of his eyes, "James, earth to James." I snapped my fingers a couple of times, finally getting him out of his trance. James looked at me for a moment. "Hey, welcome back to the land of the living," I said with a smile.

"What? Oh, right," James said nodding his head. "Now, what was I talking about?"

"The prank," Sirius said, sighing as he grew impatient. "You were about to tell us the greatest prank ever before you started daydreaming about Evans."

"Sorry about that. But anyway, the prank," James said smiling once more. "As I was saying gentleman, this is the best prank I have ever come up with."

"Yes, yes. You've said that three times now! So out with it!" Sirius said to him, not wanting to wait any longer.

James smirked and looked at Sirius. "Alright, fine. Well, I found an interesting little spell that bewitches a person's pants."

"Ooh, their pants?" Sirius asked excitedly. "Do tell more."

Even I had to nod in agreement. "Yeah James, you can't leave us hanging like that."

James flipped open the book he had brought in with him. He had a page bookmarked and smiled. "Well, you see, I found this lovely little incantation that makes it so that when the wearer stops walking that their pants fall down," he said with a smirk. "Ingenious if I say so myself," James said proudly.

Sirius stood up and clapped. "It's wonderful! The best prank ever!" he said with a bright smile.

"Yes, and I want you guys to help me pull this off," James said as he closed the book back up.

Sirius started to pretend to cry as he looked at James. "Serious? You want us to help you pull off the best prank in history?" He started to wipe his eyes, as if he was really moved and crying over this fact. "Oh James, I'm so touched! You are the best friend a guy could have."

I just rolled my eyes and laughed slightly. "Yeah, be telling him that when you're in detention together for this," I said to Sirius.

James turned and looked at me. "Remus, you aren't joining us?" he asked me. I just looked back at him. In all honesty, I hadn't really decided if I was going to be a part of this prank or not.

"Come on Remus, you have to join us," Sirius said to me. "It's going to be the greatest prank ever known to man, you have to be a part of it. That way one day when you're old and crazy like Dumbledore you can look back on this day and say, I was there," he said, making a sweeping gesture with his hand, ever dramatizing the entire situation, which he tended to do. 

"I don't know guys," I said shaking my head. I was always a little hesitant on these sorts of things. Although, this prank did sound pretty funny to me…

"Remus, if you don't come on your own, I will personally make you come," James said looking right at me. "I went through this hard work on coming up with this great idea and I want you there to appreciate it and laugh your ass off at it," he said setting the book down on the table and crossing his arms.

I sighed and thought about it. I somehow knew I would be going along with them either way. "Fine, fine. I'll come."

Both James and Sirius smiled at me. "Great!" James said, feeling very proud of this prank already. "Now, since you're kind of edgy, Remus you get to be our look out."

"Fine, fine," I said with a nod. I was used to being made the look out man. It was what I did.

"Alright, now, let's go find Snivellus," Sirius said excitedly as he hopped about eagerly.

"We are going," James said as he picked up the book off the table. "Off we go!" he said making this gesture as if he was rather saying charge to an army going off into battle.

"Wait! Can I come?" a squeaky voice asked just as we were about to leave. We all turned around, almost in unison to see Peter there. See, Peter wasn't exactly a close friend at this point. He was more so the annoying guy who followed us around because he didn't have any other friends. So, we kind of took pity on him and let him trail behind us.

"Fine Peter, you can come, but you have to help Remus on look out duty," James said. Peter just nodded his head and followed behind us. The four of us off to do the greatest prank ever invented.

We spent nearly half an hour combing the castle looking around for Snape, all of us growing tired and the excitement about the prank wearing off.

"Where is he?" Sirius whined. "I wanna do the prank!" he complained, sounding like a five year old asking for a toy in some store. "James! Where is he!"

James sighed and looked at Sirius, obviously getting tired of his whining. "I don't know Sirius! If I knew where he was, why would I be walking around looking for him?"

I nodded my head, James made perfect sense. But in a way, Sirius was right too. This was ridiculous, just walking around looking for Snape. After all, Hogwarts castle is a huge place, plus there's the moving staircases and hidden passages. It could take forever to find a person in that place. "You know, there has to be an easier way. Too bad we didn't have, like, a map or something."

James looked at me. "Why do we need a map? We know all there is to know about this place pretty much," he said.

"Yeah, we just can't find anyone in it," Sirius pouted.

"No, I mean, like a map that tells you where people are," I said. I then smiled. "That's it!"

"That's what?" Sirius asked, looking at me like I had officially gone crazy.

"We could make a map! One that tells you where people are, that way we don't have to spend hours looking for someone," I said, growing excited at the idea.

"Yeah!" James nodded. "Plus, if we knew where everyone was in the castle, we wouldn't have to worry about look outs either!"

Sirius smiled. "Great idea Remus!"

Peter looked at us three as we celebrated what was a break through to us. "But, um, wouldn't you guys get in trouble if it was found out that you had that?"

I looked over at him, then frowned. Peter was right. If we did make something like that, we would probably get it taken away and get in trouble. Or worse, other people finding out about it and wanting one for themselves.

"Well, what if we put some sort of spell on it? That way only we could see it," James suggested.

"You mean, like invisible ink?" I asked.

"No, anyone can read that if they know the right spell to reveal it. It needs, like, a secret code word or something," Sirius said.

I nodded. "Yeah, but, look, there's Snape up there. Let's worry about the map idea later guys," I whispered. After all, we didn't want Snape to see us. But, thanks to a long search for him, we had the foundations laid out for one of our greatest ideas ever. Only thing was, we didn't realize how great our idea was at the time.

James saw Snape and smirked as he flipped open the book. He looked at the page as he pulled out his wand. "Pardus successio," he muttered as he flicked his wand towards Snape. At first nothing was happening, but that was because Snape was walking.

Sirius sighed, he wanted to see the prank work. "Hey! Snivellus!" he shouted. Sure enough, Snape stopped walking and looked at us. And of course, James's spell worked and as soon as he stopped, down came his trousers.

Snape looked down, not having an explanation for what just occurred. The four of us just exploded in laughter.

"What's wrong Snivellus? Problem with your pants?" James cried out through his laughter.

"Trouble with your trousers?" Sirius said, leaning on James for support because he was laughing so hard.

Even I couldn't resist on getting in with the action. "Situation with your slacks?" I finally got out. I was laughing so hard myself my face was red and I had trouble breathing.

Snape just looked at us furious. He went to pull them up, but they wouldn't budge from his ankles. So, in defeat, he went to walk away, only to have his pants shoot right back up to their original spot. We only laughed even more. Snape looked completely perplexed, as he kept stopping and walking again, finally figuring out what was wrong with his pants. Not being able to stop, he simply turned on his heels and left the corridor where we were still laughing like there was no tomorrow.

"Oh Merlin James! You were right!" Sirius said after we had finally started to calm down. "That was the best prank ever!"

"Yeah James, it really was," I said with a nod. And for a long time, that was the greatest prank. After all, it was a whole day before it finally dawned on Snape that if he just changed pants he would be fine. Still makes me laugh just thinking about it now. Of course, now that I'm grown up, I can't help but feel that what we did to him was a little wrong. But, at the time I was just a 14 year old kid, I thought it was hilarious!

I guess that's just part of growing up, you start to get this thing called a conscious. You know, that little voice in your head that occasionally pops up telling you something is wrong. Well, I guess ours just developed a little later than other people's did.

Speaking of developing, fourth year was the idea that we started expanding our thoughts on my ingenious idea to create that map. We were surprisingly in the library a lot that year. Of course, never doing schoolwork. James, Sirius, and Peter were busy doing work on studying to become animagi, which is extremely difficult work, where as I was busy researching up ideas for our map. After all, I didn't have to do studying on becoming an animagus, I was already a werewolf.

But, by the end of the year, James and Sirius were doing a great job with their animagus training. Plus, they were giving Peter all the help they could give. We also had a great prototype of what we wanted from the map. James said he would be spending his summer drawing it up on some parchment. After all, he was the more artistic of us four.

Fourth year really was a great year. We were starting to come into our own, the foundation was being laid for what would become the most infamous group of students ever to attend Hogwarts, and we didn't even know it. After all, who were we to know that one day people would be interested in our story and what we had to say. It just makes me feel so awful that I'm the only one around to tell it. But, it will be told, our story will live on. And to think, I've only made it through fourth year, we're only half way done with one of the greatest saga's Hogwarts has ever seen.


	8. Returning for Fifth Year

The summer between fourth and fifth years was definitely an eventful one. For the first time I was actually receiving regular letters from my friends telling me about how their summers were going. Plus, they were often asking me for help with some of their summer work or ideas dealing with their animagus training. James even started sending some sketches he had started doing for our map idea. I thought they were great, but still, it was only ideas, nothing formal yet.

But the most important owl of the summer was the brown tawny owl that brought me my letter from Hogwarts. I wasn't expecting anything special, just the usual book and supply list for the new school year. But to my surprise, there was something else. I emptied the envelope on the table, and stuck inside was a little silver badge. I looked at it for a moment, and then picked up the extra letter. I read it over a couple of times, and then looked up for a moment. I, Remus Lupin, was named Gryffindor prefect.

I honestly was shocked. Boy prefect for our year, for our house. This was a big honor. I still couldn't believe it. Of course, after I thought about it for awhile, it made sense. The only people in our house in our year who had better grades than me were James and Sirius, and they weren't exactly the model students you would want as prefects. And as I look back on the event, I also realize it was just an attempt by Dumbledore to gain some control over Sirius and James's antics. And of course I never understood how Dumbledore being the brilliant mind that he was would ever think there was a way to put a stop to their crazy schemes.

But on the plus side of being a prefect, my parents were very proud of me. I think the last time they were this proud was when I had gotten my acceptance letter to Hogwarts. It was a great feeling to have them be so proud of me. I really liked it. I just hoped that I wouldn't let them down.

And when they heard the news, James and Sirius were ecstatic too, of course, for a much different reason. They didn't see this as an honor; they saw it as an opportunity. The fact that I was a prefect meant that they thought they would be able to get away with more. And of course, they were probably right. I still had that need to be accepted that probably would never go away as long as I lived. I just hoped I wasn't becoming too much of a doormat.

The next time I saw my friends in person, we were all at the platform. I found it much easier to see them, seeing as I had grown quite a bit over the summer. I had gone from an average 5'5" to a now tall almost 6' even. Of course, luck for me I had grown tall, but hadn't quite filled out my frame which left me looking rather scrawny. My mother had said I looked like I had been stretched and starved all summer. And most of all, I was wearing my little prefects badge with pride. I had grown rather proud of the little silver badge and wanted to show it off, give me a sense of status within the school.

I finally caught sight of James and Sirius, they too had grown some, but somehow seemed to fit nicely into their new heights where as I looked like I was caught in some awkward transitional phase. Which I now know that I was, I didn't stay scrawny like that forever. Perhaps the reason James didn't seem as scrawny as he actually was because he just always was that way and always would be. Sirius was the shortest of us three, and it would always stay that way. Sure, he wasn't much shorter, but he was still shorter. But Sirius, unlike James and I, had this older look about him. If you looked at him, you would probably think he was a seventh year, or someone's older brother rather than the fifth year he was. And with that came the start of something I had a low tolerance for at the beginning, and didn't really develop one for it. With fifth year came the fangirls, that squawking, giggling, goofy group of girls who decided to worship Sirius and follow him around. Of course, at the beginning of the year they weren't up to following him around yet, simply just giggling and staring at him slightly.

But I found my friends and walked up to them, a smile across my face. "Well, hello gentleman," I said to them, glad to be in their company for another year.

"And how is our majesty the prefect doing?" Sirius asked teasingly. "Just kidding Remus, but really, how are you?"

"I'm fine," I said with a nod. "Kind of glad to be back at school though," I said taking a quick glance around the platform to see who else was around. "What about you two?"

"We're doing fine Remus. Glad to be back too. We've come up with so many great ideas for Snivy this year," James said with a smirk on his face.

Sirius nodded and had that mischievous look upon his face as well. "Yeah we do. He won't know what hit him this year."

"Well, might want to wait a couple of days. I can't exactly go easy on you two right off the bat or it will be a little obvious you're getting special treatment," I said, giving Sirius and James probably one of the only warnings I have ever given them.

"Fine," James said kicking the ground. "Well, we better get on the train. So come on," he said. I nodded in agreement and we all walked that way together.

"Alright, let's get a compartment," Sirius said as he got on the train.

"Well, I have to head up to the prefect's compartment first," I said to them. "So I'll meet with you later then ok?"

"Yeah. Say hi to Evans for me. You know she has to be a prefect this year," James said with his goofy love struck smile.

I just laughed and shook my head James. "Will do, will do," I said to him. "See you later," I said before heading off towards the front of the train.

I kept looking back occasionally at them as I made my way towards the front still. Sure, I was glad about being a prefect, but I wasn't too happy about having to leave my friends to go sit up front for half of the trip. Just wasn't exactly my cup of tea.

I opened up the door to find it empty, well, except for one certain redheaded girl sitting next to the window glancing out at the platform and the last people hopping on and saying goodbye to their parents. I just stood there in the doorway for a moment. Even though I was now a fifth year, 15 years old, almost a man as far as the wizarding world was concerned I still had one little problem.

Lily was sitting there in her uniform already, her dark red hair pulled back into a high ponytail. She was sitting there, and as I was observing her I just happened to notice her uncross and recross her legs. All of a sudden I felt rather constricted and found myself pulling at my collar, coughing even.

This of course brought her attention to me. "Remus! Thank God," she said sounding relieved to see me. "I have been in a panic all morning as to who they were going to name as the boy prefect for us. I mean no offense but the two people with better grades than you…"

"Are Sirius and James, I know," I said with a nod.

"Yes, well, they're not exactly prefect material now are they?" Lily asked me.

"Well, um, I guess…not," I said, still slightly flustered and of course, watching my words. I didn't want to go and start insulting my friends. Of course, if James had been there he would have probably rung my neck for the way my eyes just happened to fall on Lily at certain moments. I bit on my bottom lip slightly as I glanced out the window and the train starting to pull away slowly. By the time I looked back people were coming in the compartment. Thank Merlin.

The prefects meeting was rather uneventful, just a boring part of the ride where I was re-told the rules and how I can and cannot enforce them. But before long the ride was half over and I was free to go and join my friends in their compartment.

I just walked along the isle, my hand in my pockets and looking down at my feet. I was still marveling at how long of a distance there was between my eyes and my feet on the floor. Of course the downside was that I didn't notice where I was going, or what was coming towards me.

Soon enough there was a flash of fur, a loud meow, and before I knew it I was down on the ground. I groaned as I looked over and saw this cat just, sitting there next to me. "Oh bugger," I muttered to my self as I tried to at least sit up so I wasn't laying face down on the floor. The cat seemed rather amused as it licked my hand, as if to say sorry. I just glared at it, and actually, found myself flipping the cat off.

"Bloody cat!" I shouted rather loudly. "Who the hell let's their cat run around a train? Honestly!" I said, rather angry about falling because of a fucking cat. Merlin did my leg hurt.

Of course, I seemed to calm down rather quickly once I noticed who the only person who was in the hall with me was. Standing there, right in front of me with a look of both embarrassment, and I think nervousness was Rebecca. I just kind of looked up at her. Over the summer she had apparently gained some….err….assets. Yes, that was a good way to put it. 

"Remus…" Rebecca said as she moved closer to me. "I'm so, so, sorry about that. Really, I didn't mean for her to get out. I was trying to catch her, but she just slipped away," she said, now bending down to my height. "I'm really sorry….let me help you," she said. She went on to then hold out her hand for me to take, as if it would help.

Of course, I looked at her hand for a moment, but my eyes traveled up to her face, but then back down. It wasn't like I was some pervert or something, but, I couldn't stop myself from well, checking her out. I finally snapped out of my little moment and shook my head to get any….err….thoughts out of my head. I went on to push her hand gently away, after all, if I took it she would end up on the floor with me. Of course, that little voice that all teenage boys had seemed to think that wouldn't be such a bad idea.

"No, it's ok. It wasn't your fault I fell down," I said to her as I started getting up slowly. My leg still hurt though. Stupid cat.

"Again, I'm really sorry. Did you hurt anything?" Rebecca asked me once I got up. I just tried to contain myself from going, 'what do you think Einstein? I just fell on the damn floor.' But, I remembered I wasn't dealing with James or Sirius here, I was dealing with her.

I ended up shrugging slightly instead of saying my comment like some moron would. "My leg is sore," I said to her. I ran my hand across it slowly, it really did hurt. She of course seemed rather upset by my comment on my leg.

"Oh, let me take a look at it. I can try and…heal it or something," Rebecca said to me. She then went over to the compartment next to us, revealing some first years.

I hobbled over, seeing as my leg hurt like bloody hell and looked at the group. They gave me blank expressions and looked at me and Rebecca slightly confused.

"Oi! Out!" I said with a hand gesture. "We need this for a medical emergency. And no buts! I am a prefect," I said with a flash of my badge. The group just looked at me and slowly made their way out. Once they were out I made my way over to sit down.

Rebecca came in with me and ended up sitting across from me. Her cat came in too. I glared slightly at the cat. Stupid cat. She seemed to be frowning some and looking at me. "Would you mind if I looked at your leg?" she asked me. She seemed slightly nervous about asking me and I was kind of surprised she did ask me.

"Oh! Umm…err….yeah," I said with a nod. I reached down and slowly lifted up my pant leg, wincing a bit as I did so. No wonder my leg hurt so badly. I had some awful rug burn, and a bad cut. Plus my knee was starting to bruise.

Rebecca leaned down and was looking at my leg now. I was looking at her dealing with my leg when I noticed something else. I wasn't trying to look or anything, but it just so happened that I could see right down her shirt from the angle I was at, of course letting me see her…assets.

I was jolted out of my trance as she suddenly pressed her scarf against my cut. I winced slightly as she did so.

"Here, hold that there," she said, taking my hand and putting it on top of the scarf. I just nodded as I did as I was told, keeping it there. While I did that she reached inside her robes and pulled out her wand.

"Umm…creo glacies!" she said finally. She tapped the wand in her hand, and some ice appeared in her hand. She then took the scarf back from me. Luckily my bleeding was stopped, so she put the ice in the scarf and put it on my knee.

"Here, that should, numb it, or something," she said, shaking her head some and running her hands through her hair. She had pretty hair.

I looked at her for a moment, then looking down at her leg. "Well, thanks," I said to her. "You really didn't have to do that though. I would have been fine," I said looking down at her for a moment. Of course, I wasn't sure what else to say to her. After all, her cat had made me fall down flat on my face making me hurt my leg. But, in return she fixed my leg and I got to ogle her assets in the process.

"So, um, glad to be back to school?" I asked her, still feeling nervous about talking to her. I mean, I wasn't exactly at the top of my game when she was around. Hell, I was lucky I could put together a whole sentence when she was near me.

Rebecca laughed slightly. Was she laughing to me? I hope not. "I guess you could say that. I mean, I'm glad to be back in the wizarding world and all, but the schoolwork that entails...eh, not so much," she said with a smile.

I simply nodded. I was still nervous, as usual. "Yeah, schoolwork," I said nodding. "Not, um, my favorite either," I said to her. I felt so stupid for what useless drabble was coming out of my mouth. It was like, my brain shut off when she was around me. I and I couldn't control it either.

"But, I guess school isn't so bad," I said to her. "I mean, if we didn't go to school, we couldn't do magic you know. Plus, then we wouldn't all be here together and I wouldn't know a single person I'm friends with now," I said, making my most intelligent comment to her since we've met. Maybe it was the badge.

I was glad to see that she must not have found my rather odd ramblings too stupid, or else she probably wouldn't have stopped what I thought had to have been one of the first real conversations we've ever had together.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, if it weren't for Hogwarts, I wouldn't have even known about magic, and wouldn't be friends with Lily and Mariah, and even you," she said. I swore to Merlin my heart must have skipped a beat. We never talked and yet here she was considering me a friend? Or was that just polite conversation? Or was it something else? Why do girls have to be so confusing? "So, I guess I'm pretty lucky then," she said, smiling at me even.

Ok, that has to be a good sign, she's smiling at me. That's good right? Good? Oh, I was a mess, a real mess on the inside. I felt as if my stomach was in knots and I couldn't seem to think clearly. Stupid hormones, I curse you.

I managed to nod my head slowly. "Yeah, I guess so," I said, shrugging slightly. I felt so stupid! I guess so? What was I thinking? Oh wait, I wasn't thinking, that was the problem.

"So, um, yeah…" I said with another nod of my head. I couldn't think of anything else to say. I mean, after all, I was already tongue tied around her, and then when I went to say something to her I looked at her and…well, got distracted and then messed up what finally took me so long to think of to say! I guess I was just doomed when it came to girls.

"So," I said once more. "Anything, um, interesting happen to you over the summer?" I finally got out. I wanted to let out a big sigh of relief upon finally making a full and coherent sentence.

"Not really," Rebecca said, keeping the conversation going. I felt relieved once again that I hadn't been too stupid. "I worked on my summer assignments, and helped my mum in this diner she works at in town. I made a few extra pounds, so I guess it wasn't a total waste. How was yours?" she asked me in return.

I thought about it for a moment. Did I really do anything? Well, I did, I helped James and Sirius with any questions they had about their animagus training and ideas on the map, but I couldn't tell her those. And I definitely couldn't say a word about being a werewolf.

"Oh, the same old same old," I ended up saying, and feeling once again and as always around her, really stupid for that coming out of my mouth. "Homework and talking with Sirius and James really," I said with a nod. "Maybe that's why I'm glad to be back. I do more here than at home." 

"Yeah, I think I understand what you mean," Rebecca replied. It was about then that I noticed it felt as if the train was slowing down. Both of us looked out the window and sure enough was the station in Hogsmeade.

"Bloody hell!" she suddenly shouted out. Of course, she quickly covered her mouth, which confused me. Was something wrong?

"Oh, Merlin. I'm sorry. I have to go. I just left all my luggage in my other compartment," Rebecca said as she stood up quickly. Luckily she picked up her cat with her. Stupid cat, making me fall.

"Oh, ok," I said nodding as I watched her go, standing up myself. "Well, I guess I'll see you later then," I said grabbing my things and heading out of the compartment. After all, I had never made it back to the guys, so I needed to find them right away.

I got off the train and looked around for my friends. I found them and went over to them. "Hey guys!"

"Hey! Remus!" James said looking at me. "Where have you been?" he asked.

"I was detoured by a cat," I said with a sigh.

"A cat?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'll tell you later," I said with a nod of my head. We walked towards the carriages together, me starting my story dealing with the whole encounter dealing with Rebecca and her devil cat. They both found it rather amusing.

"It's not that funny guys," I said as we headed inside to the familiar sights of the Great Hall.

"I think it is," Sirius said as he took a seat at the long Gryffindor table, James and I sitting with him. "I mean, you got knocked down by a cat."

"Hey, it hurt," I said frowning. "Besides you look at it," I said pulling up my pant leg right there in the middle of the feast to show them.

"Why is there a scarf on your leg?" James asked making an odd face.

"Oh!" I said looking at the now wet scarf that was wrapped around my leg. "Rebecca's scarf! I didn't give it back to her!"

"Well, why is it there?" James asked me again, still confused.

"She put it there to hold some ice on my knee cause it's all bruised, see," I said unwrapping the wet scarf letting them see the damage done by my fall. Both James and Sirius winced some looking at it. "See, told you it hurt."

"Maybe we should take you to the hospital wing once we're done here," Sirius said.

I was looking down towards Rebecca talking with her friends. "Nah. I'll be fine," I said, still watching her talk. Of course, once again my eyes were caught on her assets.

Sirius then smirked and pushed me playfully. "You like her don't you?" he asked me.

I turned and looked at him. "What? Like her?" Of course, I knew I did, but I hadn't really wanted Sirius and James to know that. After all, look at the way we harassed James about him liking Lily.

"Yes, you totally like her. Look at the way you're looking at her," Sirius said. "That's the same way James looks at Evans."

"Oh! Speaking of the lovely Miss Evans, did you tell her I said hi?" James asked me. I simply sighed and shook my head. I had to endure Sirius asking me about Rebecca and James asking about Lily for the rest of the feast, but I managed to make it through.

Soon enough the feast was done and we were free to head to our common rooms. I got stuck with my prefect duty and had to go show the first years there with Lily. I looked over at her once and awhile, staying rather quiet. After all, I really didn't want to look stupid in front of Lily. I mean, she was the other prefect!

After a long and trying time of dealing with what I thought had to be the most stupid group of people I've ever met, I sat in my usual place in the common room, where Sirius and James and Peter were already sitting.

I off course still had the wet scarf on my leg and decided to finally take the thing off. It was starting to annoy me.

"You still have that?" James asked looking at me.

"Well, what am I supposed to do with it?" I asked him.

"Give it back? Look, she's right over there," Sirius said pointing. I did look over and suddenly I felt those knots in my stomach returned.

"So?" I asked, feeling rather nervous about the prospect of going over and talking to her again. 

"So, go over there and give her the scarf back. Stupid," Sirius said pushing me in that direction. I looked back at him and he just made a hand motion gesturing me off in Rebecca's direction.

I walked over to her, the scarf in my hands as I twisted it nervously. The short walk felt like it took forever. Of course I finally made it and she was there reading her book. She looked up at me and I just stood there nervously, finally holding her scarf out in front of me.

"Um…you left my scarf on my leg," I said rather nervously. Once again, I just couldn't think and something stupid just flies out of my mouth. She had to have thought I was the dumbest person on the planet.

Yep, it was official. She must have thought I was retarded because she just looked at me. Stupid Remus…very, very stupid. I was relieved when she finally did say something though.

"Oh! Right," Rebecca said finally. "I'm sorry about that. I was just in such a rush to get my things that I must of…forgot," she said as she reached for her scarf back. "Thanks, for returning it."

I nodded my head for a moment. "It's alright, I kind of forgot it was on my leg until James asked me why there was a scarf on my leg," I said with a slight laugh. I figured if I made it sound like a joke I would seem less stupid for forgetting I had a scarf on my leg. Especially a cold wet one.

I felt a little better as she laughed. That was a good sign, right? Or was she laughing at how stupid I was for forgetting about her scarf. Oh jeeze…what was I getting myself into.

I then noticed her hand. She was twirling her hair, her long brown hair. And curse my damn hormones! I once again found myself staring at her newly acquired assets. But this time it wasn't my fault, after all her hand was right there. I was only snapped out of my little trance as she spoke once more.

"Well, is your leg doing better at least?" she asked me. I just looked back up at her face as she spoke, trying hard not to look down.

"Oh yeah, my leg's fine now," I said with a nod looking down at it. "I just guess you know how to touch me just right," I said to her. Of course, after I said it, I could have hit myself. Did that just come out of my mouth? Oh Merlin, I was doomed. Sure, I didn't mean it that way, but…did I have to say it that way? I just tried to remain calm, maybe she wouldn't take it in a bad way.

And to make me feel even more stupid, I heard laughter. Oh Merlin! Someone other than her heard that stupid comment. And worse off, she even dropped her book. Could things really get any worse? I just sighed and went to pick up the book.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that. Let me get it," she said as she bent down as well to pick it up. At the same time, both our hands reached the book, and actually touched each other. I just froze, not sure what to do next. Finally I just pulled my hand away, with the book. I handed it to her slowly.

"Um….here. You can…err…have your um…book back," I said rather quietly, so nervous I'm pretty sure my knees were shaking. I mean, I almost forgot what the word for book was! Come on brain! Turn on again! Please!

I noticed she started twirling her hair again. I happened to start shuffling my feet at that point.

"Thanks," Rebecca said quietly. I noticed she was smiling, which made me a little less nervous. But, I still didn't know what to say so I just stood there. Finally the awkward silence was cut by her friend. 

"Merlin, I'm tired. I think I'm going to head up to bed," the girl said as she walked over by us. "You're coming, 'Becca?" she asked as she looked at Rebecca, obviously trying to pull her away. And honestly, with the way the moment was going, I wasn't going to object.

Rebecca just nodded and stood up with her book and scarf, and that devil of a cat of hers at her feet. I once more glared at the cat. Stupid cat. "Well, thank you again, Remus. Goodnight," she said with a smile as she headed for her dorm. 

Once she was gone I let out a sigh of relief and collapsed on the couch. I opened up my eyes to find a very amused Sirius and James smiling at me. I just groaned upon seeing their smiling faces.

"Way to go Romeo," Sirius said with a smirk as the two forced me to sit up.

"I really enjoyed your comment on how she touches you just right," James said to me, putting a friendly arm around my shoulders. I just groaned once more putting my head in my hands. 

"Yeah, what was that about?" Sirius asked me, but looking at James. "Was there something going on in that compartment on the train that you're not telling us?"

"Ooh! Was Remus getting some action?" James asked, which made Sirius laugh.

I just pushed them off of me and rolled my eyes, not really in the mood to put up with their little comments, even if I knew they were just playing around. I mean, I really liked Rebecca, and here was my chance to finally talk to her and I go and mess it up. I'm pretty sure she thought I was the stupidest person in the world right now. Which, after some of the things I said I would have to agree.

"I'm going to bed now," I said to them, not waiting for them to say anything else to me. I just trudged off feeling very defeated towards my dorm. I made it up to the dorm and found my bed and opened up my trunk. It wasn't long before I changed into my pajamas and was asleep peacefully in my bed. I could only hope the rest of the year didn't go like that day had.


	9. Surprise in the Forest

Lucky for me fifth year wasn't as bad as that first day back was. Sure, we had more work than ever in our classes, since we were all preparing for our O.W.L.'s, but that didn't stop us from having fun every now and then. I normally had my nose in a book, seeing as I appeared to be the only one actually worried about how I did on those tests. I saw Peter studying too, but he was more so panicking about them, rather than studying. James and Sirius were too busy either planning pranks or studying other things.

It was November, I remember because it was cold out, but it hadn't snowed yet. Plus every time I came into the castle before hand I drug in wet leaves that had stuck to the bottom of my shoes. Well, one day in November I had been working on an essay for History of Magic, a terribly boring subject but it had to get done none the less. Anyways, I was sitting there when Sirius came up to me. I had been sitting on the couch and he came and plopped down next to me and flung his arm around me. He just smiled at me charmingly, not saying anything.

I finally set my essay down on the table and looked at him. "Yes? Can I help you?" I asked him, trying to stay polite. I was close to being done; I really didn't welcome the intrusion.

Sirius just smiled more and took his arm that had been resting around my shoulders back. "Got a surprise for you buddy," he said to me as he propped his head up on his arm, which was bent with his elbow resting on the back of the couch as he looked at me. He seemed rather smug about something, but I had no clue what.

"Well, what is it?" I asked him, not amused by his little games. I had work to do and he was wasting my time. Of course, I was also a little moody, seeing it was close to being that time of the month.

"I can't tell you stupid!" Sirius said rolling his eyes at me for a moment. "If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise. Stupid."

"Well, then what was the point of bringing it up even?" I asked him, sounding a little exasperated. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with Sirius's antics at the moment.

"Because, you have to see the surprise! I can't tell you or it will be ruined and it won't be any fun at all," Sirius said with a smile. "So, tonight, after dinner, we're sneaking out."

I groaned and hit my head on the back of the couch a couple times. Sirius just looked at me oddly for a moment with a raised eyebrow. "Remus? You ok buddy?"

"Do I look ok Sirius?" I asked him, growing short with him. "I am tired as hell, I have a stack of homework, which includes three essays, plus I have other shit to deal with ok? I really don't have time for your crap right now. So whatever you and James have planned, its gonna have to wait for a couple of days." I said to him.

Sirius just gave me a look of complete shock. I don't think in five years he had ever seen me just explode on him like that, but I was just so stressed out, I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Jeeze Remus, calm down," Sirius said putting a hand on my shoulder. "Don't need to get your knickers all in a twist."

I just looked at him rather blankly; I was not amused by his comment. In fact, I was kind of freaked out that he even said anything regarding my underwear. "Sirius just let me do my work. Ok?"

"Only if you promise to come out with us tonight," Sirius said looking at me. "James, Peter and I have done a lot of work to put this all together. So the least you could do is come out and see it."

I just sighed and looked at him. I could tell that Sirius wasn't going to give up on this and one way or another I would end up being drug out there to see whatever it was they had planned. "Fine, I'll be there. Right after dinner and try not to make it too long."

"Great!" Sirius said jumping up out of his seat, smiling once again. "I'll tell the guys so we can finish the last few things. But you're gonna love it. I promise."

"Right, great, whatever," I muttered as I picked up the parchment with my essay once more so I could get back to work on it.

Sirius just rolled his eyes at me and ran off to do only Merlin knows what, and to be completely honest I really didn't care what it was.

I kept working diligently all the way up until dinnertime. I probably would have worked through it if I hadn't been reminded. I had my nose buried in a book as I was looking for an answer that I needed for my Potions essay. I was reading and rereading this paragraph over and over as I looked for my answer when I heard a voice.

"Remus? Are you coming to dinner?" My head snapped up from my book and I looked up at Rebecca. Of course, all I could think about was how I made a complete ass of myself in front of her on the first day back. But surely she didn't remember that day too well. Right? Oh well, can't change the past.

I looked at her, and then for the first time noticed the Common Room was completely empty, well, except for us. Of course, noticing this and being a teenage boy my head flooded with rather inappropriate thoughts about situations that could occur between us and my face started to slowly turn red. And to make things worse, as usual, my eyes happened to fall on a particular spot of her anatomy.

"What?" I asked her. "Oh, dinner, right," I said closing my book and putting it down with my other books and rolls of parchment. "Yeah, I probably should head down to eat," I said as I slowly pulled myself up off the couch. It took some effort, considering I had been in that spot for close to three continuous hours.

Of course, I went to say something about going down to dinner, and just as I turned to look at her and ask I notice that she had already left. I sighed to myself, but I figured that she was probably running late to meet up with her friends or something like that. I was sure that she had a good reason. Or perhaps she did remember how retarded I got around her and wanted to save both of us the time. Either way I ended up walking down to the Great Hall on my own.

I walked into the hall, which was full of people already starting their dinner. I went towards the Gryffindor table, scanning for my friends. The first thing I happened to see was James making another lame and desperate attempt at getting Lily to go out with him. I just laughed to myself and took the seat she had been sitting in, but had recently vacated and relocated down the table away from James.

"Strike out again there buddy?" I asked him with a bit of a smile.

James just looked over at me, glaring almost. Talking about his track record with Lily was a bit of a sore subject. "I'm telling you, she will say yes to me one day."

"Whatever you say James," Sirius said shaking his head.

"Really! She will!" James said nodding his head.

"Uh-huh. And one day pigs will fly," Sirius said looking at him.

James just smirked. "Ah! But my friend, you are forgetting, with the right spell you can make anything fly," he said pointing his fork at him.

"That is true isn't it?" Peter interjected with a nod.

"Yes it is," James said smiling brightly. "And one day you will see that the whole time I was right and you were wrong," he said poking Sirius with his fork gently.

Sirius just made a face and rubbed his arm. "Whatever you say James, whatever you say."

I just shook my head. I couldn't believe we were having this conversation, mostly because we seemed to have it every time that James asked Lily out, because each time he did she turned him down. It was getting to the point that Lily wasn't even being politely about saying no. Of course, I don't blame her. I would get annoyed if someone asked me out every time they saw me too.

Dinner was, well, it was dinner as usual; a small variety of meats, potatoes, vegetables, the usual spread. But it wasn't anything special, and neither was the dinner conversation. Normally Sirius and James talking about their plans for some great prank, Peter worrying about some assignment he still hadn't done that was due the next day or how he was going, or knew he failed some test, and me just sitting there. I was the quiet one around dinnertime. I liked to observe and listen rather than jump in. Of course, I did talk, yes, but not as much as say James did. If you wanted to know why he was so skinny most of his life, it was probably because he talked through dinner. I never saw him shut up, but yet every meal his plate would be clean. To this day I will never understand how that happened.

After dinner was usually the same too. Normally we would all wait until everyone was finished, let James watch Lily walk away from the table with this dreamy look on his face where as she did not even knowledge his existence unless she absolutely had to. It was starting to get rather on the pathetic side if you ask me. Then we would get up and head off to the Common Room to sit around and hang out for the remainder of the evening.

But tonight was a special case. As we got up, instead of heading for the Common Room I found myself being drug outside by my three friends. Apparently that's where my surprise was.

"You're gonna love it Remus!" Sirius said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"Yep, took us awhile, but we've finally got it right," James said with a nod. He was standing on my right side and now had his arm around my shoulders. Peter was walking on the other side of James and nodded.

"Yeah, you're gonna be so surprised to see it," Peter said looking down at me. I just shrugged and kept walking with them.

"I don't know what you guys are up to, but you really didn't have to do anything for me. I mean, Christmas is in a month and my birthday is in March," I said looking at them.

"Well, um, my birthday is this month, so…um…." James said trying to come up with some excuse for why they were giving me a surprise.

"We did it because you're our friend," Sirius finally said. "Now come on, let's hurry up. I wanna show Remus!"

The other two just nodded and I found myself being pushed towards the Forbidden Forest. I looked ahead at the dark woods, then at my friends. "Why the hell are we here?"

"For your surprise! Jeeze, I thought you were the smart one," Sirius said with a slight roll of his eyes.

"Yeah, even Peter could have figured that one out," James said with a playful smirk.

"Hey!" Peter said looking over at him. "I don't think that was…"

"Oh hush. He was just kidding," Sirius said shaking his head as we all walked into the woods.

We walked a ways in before we finally stopped. Both Sirius and James dropped their arms from my shoulders and moved so that all three of them were standing in front of me. Sirius just smiled at me and gave me a wink.

I just looked at them with a raised eyebrow. "Ok, now, can you tell me why we are out in the middle of the woods?"

"Of course!" Sirius said with a smile. "We're here to show you your surprise."

"See, remember what we told you that one night in second year?" James asked.

"And what you've been helping us study since then?" Sirius added with a smile.

"Well, we did it!" Peter said looking rather excited.

I just looked at then all for a moment. "You….you did?" I asked, not sure what to say.

"Yep, here we'll show you," Sirius said, looking rather excited himself all of a sudden.

I just looked at my three friends, and before I knew it, they were gone. Well, not gone, but different. Instead of Sirius, James, and Peter standing before me I now had a dog, a deer, and a rat standing in their places. I blinked a couple of times before it sunk in what had exactly happened.

"Whoa…" I said quietly.

The dog that was now in Sirius's place was running around excitedly in a circle, barking rather loudly. It was making quite a racket, so the deer in James's spot poked him gently with his antlers to get him to stop. I just laughed and shook my head.

"I can't believe this! This is….wow! Well, I really am surprised," I said, still not believing that they managed to pull it off.

Sirius was the first to be back as his normal self and smiled at me. "Glad you like it. But, it means you get to have company on those special nights now."

I just smiled at him, then over at James and Peter who were back to normal as well. "Thanks guys, you have to be like, the best friends ever."

"Yeah, we are pretty cool huh?" James said with a sly smile. I just shook my head some.

"You know, we need like cool names now. Cause like, for when we're an animal and all," Sirius said.

"Why?" Peter asked with a slightly confused look.

"Because it would be cool, that's why!" James said looking at him.

"Hmm," Sirius said putting his hand to his chin. "Well, I've got Remus down easy. He can be Wolfy."

I just rolled my eyes. "Don't you think that's a little…erm….obvious?" I asked him.

"He's got a point," James said with a nod.

"Fine, fine," Sirius nodded. "Um…"

"Maybe something about the moon Sirius, that's a little less obvious," Peter said looking at him.

"Moony!" Sirius said with a smile. "You my friend are Moony now."

"Um, thanks then, I guess," I said with a shrug. At that point I thought it was the stupidest name, and that having these little nicknames was a pretty stupid idea. But then again, I had no idea how much they would come to mean later.

"Now, James. Mr. Pokey there," Sirius said looking at him.

James just rolled his eyes. "I only poked you once to get you to shut up."

"Nuh-uh! You poked me at dinner to with your fork. And frankly, I can't tell which was worse. Those stupid antlers and that fork."

"Well, whatever," James said to him.

"That's it! You're antlers; you poke people with them, like your fork!"

"So?" James asked.

"So you can be….Forky!" Sirius said with a nod.

"Forky?" James asked with a raised eyebrow. "That has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life. I am not going to be Forky."

"Fine, fine," Sirius sighed. "Jeeze, you're so picky why don't you come up with a name."

"Fine, I will," James said. "If you want to go with the whole poking and fork thing why don't you go with something that sounds a bit less….stupid? Something, like…"

"Prongs," I said.

"What?" Sirius asked me.

"The part of the fork that actually does the poking," I said. "They're called the prongs."

"Prongs eh?" James said rubbing his chin. "I like it."

"Ok, so we've got Moony, and Prongs now," Sirius said. "Now on to Peter."

"Me?" Peter asked looking at him.

"Yes. Now, you are a rat, so, hmm," Sirius said rubbing his chin. Peter looked at Sirius nervously, wondering what name he was going to come up with.

"You're tail," Sirius said pointing at him. "It's really long. You can be Longtail."

"Um…ok," Peter said, not really caring what name was picked for him.

"Once again Sirius, that is stupid," James said looking at him.

"What?" Sirius said looking at James. "He said its ok."

"Well, then he's an idiot too," James said as he put a hand to his head and shaking it some. "Honestly, who put him in charge of handing out names?"

"He did," I said with a slight laugh.

Sirius just crossed his arms. "I do not appreciate you two picking on me. I am trying here," he said to us all.

"Well, I'm sorry, but you're coming up with stupid names," James said looking at him, putting his hand down. "I mean, Longtail? Forky? Wolfy?" James said shaking his head.

"What? I like those names!" Sirius said frowning. "Forky was my personal favorite."

"Well, think of something more descriptive about his tail if you're determined to talk about it," I said looking at Sirius. I felt kind of bad for him. You could tell he wanted to come up with the names, he just, well, kind of sucked at coming up with good ones. So, I tried to help him some.

"More descriptive huh?" Sirius said rubbing his chin.

"Yes, like, what does it look like?" I asked him, trying to help him come up with something.

"Well, it kind of looks like, well, a worm," Sirius said making a face as he tried to come up with something.

"Yeah, it does," James said with a nod.

Peter just looked at them both for a second, kind of confused. "So…what's my name then?" he asked.

"Wormtail," Sirius said with a nod. "I have decided and no one will contest it!" he said putting up his hands.

James and I just exchanged glances. We still thought the name was kind of dumb, but Peter didn't care and we didn't want to hurt Sirius's feelings too much.

"Now it's my turn," Sirius said with a smile. Of course, then he frowned. "But, wait, how can I come up with my own name if I've never seen what I look like?" he asked looking at us.

I just shrugged. "Well, we could make up a name for you."

"No! I want to do it," Sirius said, pouting about it as if he was five.

"Fine then," James said with a sigh. "Can we just hurry it up? I didn't grab the cloak and it's gotta be getting close to curfew."

"I'm thinking!" Sirius said looking up at the tree branches over our head. "Let's see, um, Barky…"

"Get off the things that end in 'ee' thing Sirius," James interjected. "It's stupid."

Sirius just looked over at him, then down at his feet. "Hmm, what about Pawfoot?"

"Pawfoot?" James asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, cause I have paws instead of feet," Sirius said looking down at one of his paw prints on the ground.

"How about, um, Padfoot," I said looking at him. "Cause you have pads on the bottom of your feet rather than just saying their paws."

"Nice one Remus," James said with a smile.

"Yeah. But call him Moony now," Sirius said. "So, we have Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and…"

"I'm Prongs," James said looking at him. "And don't think about trying to change it to Forky."

"I liked that name," Sirius pouted.

"Whatever," James said laughing. "Come on then, let's go," he said as he started walking out of the forest.

I just laughed and followed him out. I was so grateful for what my friends had done for me. I knew becoming an animagus had to be lots of hard work, but they did it. And they did it just for me. I really did have the world's best friends, even if they were a bit…eccentric at times.

We all headed out of the forest, all four of us walking, talking, and laughing together. From then on we were all different people, we were now Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongsand we had plans on staying that way forever. I really miss the times when I was Moony. Sure, at first I wasn't too keen on the name, it made me paranoid that someone would figure out the meaning behind it, but Sirius and James really got into using the names I just let them call me that. But now that no one calls me that, I kind of miss it.

That night when we all went to bed, the night time ritual changed, and it was going to be a permanent change. Now instead of saying "Goodnight Sirius" it became "Goodnight Padfoot" and "Goodnight Prongs" and "Goodnight Wormtail". I laid there on my bed with a smile on my face as I went to bed, because I knew we were all going to be friends forever from that moment on.


	10. A Chicken in Werewolves Clothing

Fifth year was just like any other for the most part was rather normal. That is, as normal as life can get for a fifteen, turning sixteen year old werewolf with friends who had just mastered the skill of being an animagus. So, ok, it wasn't _that_ normal. But, we still did things that every other fifth year did, and one of them included taking the O.W.L.'s. I can't remember most of the test, but there was one thing that happened during the testing period I could never forget even if I tried.

Even though I was a prefect and had the authority to stand up against Sirius and James and their crazy antics, and yes they were getting crazier, I couldn't do it. I was chicken, afraid that if I told them what I thought they were doing was wrong that they would think I was lame and I would lose my best friends and be on my own, and the thought of trying to make new friends wasn't exactly high on my list of things I wanted to do.

I always said that I was going to start standing up for what I thought, but I never did. And most of the time it was little things and I just passed them off and forgot about them. But after our Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. I saw something I knew was wrong and just sat there.

We had finished up and I was definitely feeling confident about my essay. After all, how could I go wrong with a question asking me to "Give five signs that identify a werewolf"? I don't think I could have gotten that wrong if I tried!

Finally, tiny Professor Flitwick called time on the test and my scroll left my possession to be graded. I just got up and went to join James, Sirius and Peter. Of course, the first thing anyone brought up was that question.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" Sirius asked me.

"Loved it," I said with a bit of a smirk. "'Give five signs that identify a werewolf.' Excellent question."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" James asked me, joking obviously.

"I think I did," I said with a nod as I tried being serious while we finally made it outside. "One: He's sitting in my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name is Remus Lupin…"

We all laughed wildly at the joke, well, everyone except for Peter. He just went on about worrying about if he got them all. I just rolled my eyes and exchanged a look with Sirius as James harped on him for being stupid. Of course, my attention was drawn back to the pair once James brought up the "running around with a werewolf once a month."

"Keep your voice down," I said quietly as I looked at James. After all, I didn't need everyone in the whole bloody school knowing about what I really was.

We all headed across the grass and over to a nice shady tree near the lake. Of course we would sit there, Sirius and James could easily see the group of girls, which included Lily and her friends, who were sitting by the lake and it was under the shade. I had taken a seat and pulled out my transfiguration book to get some studying. James on the other hand was talking about a Snitch that he had nicked and was now showing off with. Sirius was lying out across the grass and watched the people outside, mostly the girls over by the lake that were giggling and having their feet in what I bet was rather cool water. Peter was just watching James play with the Snitch like it was the most amazing and entertaining thing in the world.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at them, but I occasionally found myself looking over at the girls by the lake. Lily and her friends were there, so I immediately started scanning the nearby area for Rebecca. After all, she and Lily were friends, so I assumed that she would be over there with the group. I knew James was looking over, because if he hadn't noticed Lily there he wouldn't be showing off with the Snitch and running his hand through his hair messing it up more than it already was, if that was possible.

I kept trying to study, but Peter "oohing" and "ahhing" and clapping every bloody time James grabbed the Snitch was getting rather annoying. I was about to say something, but I didn't have to.

"Put that away will you?" Sirius said looking at James. "Before Wormtail wets himself from excitement."

I stifled a laugh as Peter slightly blushed. James on the other hand looked rather proud of himself as he put the Snitch back in his pocket.

"If it bothers you," he said.

I just nodded my head. James playing with the Snitch didn't bother me; it was more so the way Peter went on about it that was bothering me. I went back to reading but was soon distracted by a loud and long sigh from Sirius.

"I'm bored. I wish it was a full moon," he said as he looked around the grounds dully.

"You might," I muttered. I definitely was glad it wasn't a full moon. Something about a horribly painful forced transfiguration just didn't fall into my idea of a fun time. "You know, we've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me….here," I said as held out my book to Sirius.

Sirius just snorted and looked at me. "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all," he said. I just took my book back quietly. Apparently him getting the hint that it would be really nice and he'd be being a great friend if he helped me study, since I certainly didn't know it all, just went right over his head. I sighed quietly to myself I went back to my studying. That was when all hell broke loose.

James poked Sirius to get his attention. "This'll liven you up Padfoot," he said quietly. "Look who it is…"

I didn't even have to look up to know who it had to have been walking nearby. There was no one else in the school that those two would have talked about like that…Snape.

Sirius turned and smirked ever so slightly. "Excellent," he said just as quietly. "Snivellus."

I once again sighed to myself. I knew trouble was coming. Snape showing up in the midst of Sirius telling James he was bored was definitely a cauldron with trouble brewing in it. It was like one of those potions that went wrong and adding one more ingredient will make it blow. Well, it was eminent that that last ingredient was going to be added.

I noticed Sirius and James getting up, where as Peter and I stayed seated. I kept looking at my book, trying hard not to look up at the trouble I knew was coming. I frowned some as I tried to focus, but my concern was suddenly not on studying for my Transfiguration O.W.L.

"All right Snivellus?" James called loudly. I almost winced as I heard these words. Why oh why did those two have to go pick on him? I would have understood if Snape had come over and done or said something, but the guy was just walking by! I'm not going to say I'm his biggest fan, or even fond of him, I actually dislike the guy a lot, but still. I at least have morals. I just fail miserably at trying to give them to Sirius and James.

As soon as he heard his name called, Snape didn't hesitate and pulled out his wand, only to be stopped by James shouting "Expelliarmus!" causing Snape's wand to fly out of his hand and making Sirius laugh.

"Impedimenta!" James added as Snape was brought down to the ground in the midst of a dive. I must admit, if it hadn't been such an unfair fight and was happening for a reason other than sure boredom it might have been mildly entertaining. But under the circumstances…this was just sad. I couldn't believe what bullies my two best friends actually were and for the first time I was actually seeing it for myself.

I knew perfectly well as a prefect I should have stopped the fight from the first spell that left James's mouth. But I was so worried about keeping my friends I just hid behind my book, hoping that no one noticed I was there, and if I tried to ignore it hard enough the whole situation would just go away.

I noticed more students gathering around the scene as Snape lay on the grass struggling as if he was bound by invisible ropes. James just kept glancing at the girls who were still by the lake. How he thought torturing Snape was gonna impress Lily I will never know. After all, she was normally the one yelling at James to be the bigger person and stop the nonsense.

"How'd the exam go Snivelly?" James asked.

"I was watching him. His nose was touching the parchment," Sirius answered for him and not in the kindest of tones either. "There'll be great grease marks all over it. They won't be able to read a word!"

I just sighed and shook my head as I heard several of the people around laughing at Sirius's comment. I'll admit that Snape was a rather greasy git, but that was a low blow. A low blow indeed.

"You-wait," Snape said as he looked up at James with pure hatred in his eyes. "You- wait…"

"Wait for what?" Sirius asked rather coolly. "What are you going to do Snivelly? Wipe your nose on us?"

More people started laughing, but Snape started to scream out a large array of swear words and hexes, which did nothing since he didn't have his wand.

"Was out your mouth," James said looking down at him, with out a single sign of compassion in his voice or his face. "Scourgify!"

Before anyone knew it, there were pink soap bubbles coming out of Snape's mouth which made him choke and gag. Now I definitely knew they went too far. Snape could really get hurt from that, he was choking for Merlin's sake! What would those two do if something really bad happened because of what they did? What would have happened to me if I didn't do anything…?

I grew nervous about my fate for sitting by idly, yet still I did nothing. I went back to trying to hide behind my book and block out the commotion. But I was once again pulled back into the action by a loud voice.

"Leave him alone!" Lily shouted. As if by magic the two looked over at her and James's hand immediately went to his hair.

"All right Evans?" James said, trying to sound smoother and mature now that he was talking to Lily.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. She was looking right at James and it wasn't a good look. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," James said looking at her. "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean."

I think almost everyone around except Lily and I laughed at that comment. I was still trying to make it look like I was reading, but I was peeking over the top of my book. By this point my stomach was wretched with guilt for letting them get this far. And I hadn't even tried to stop them; it was all Lily doing it.

"You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag Potter. Leave him alone," Lily said coolly to James.

"I will if you go out with me Evans," James said quickly. I couldn't help but let out one quick and quiet laugh. Boy did James have timing. Here Lily was yelling at him about how arrogant and giving him the ultimate death glare and he had the audacity to ask her out in the midst of it. "Go on…go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," Lily said. And she said it with such venom in her tone as well; the whole while looking at James like he was scum. Which, I couldn't blame her for at this point.

"Bad luck Prongs," Sirius said, keeping an upbeat tone about the situation. "OY!" Sirius called out, trying to get James's attention, since the whole time he was talking with Lily, Snape had managed to get up and get his wand back.

But by the time James noticed it was too late for him to stop Snape and he had a gash across his cheekbone, causing blood to get all over his robes.

James didn't hesitate and soon enough Snape was hanging upside down in the air. His robes had fallen over his head and everyone who was outside got to see his scrawny pale legs and his graying pair of underwear. Everyone in the crowd just started laughing hysterically and cheering for James. I just sank down further and hid behind my book more. I was actually embarrassed for Snape. I was embarrassed for my friends too. I mean James couldn't have planned on Snape not having anything under his robes…but still.

Lily looked absolutely furious though. But I could have sworn there was a split second when it looked as if she was going to smile. I mean, she may have come off as an uptight person, but she did have a sense of humor. She looked at James for a moment and sighed. "Let him down!"

"Certainly," James obliged most likely because it was Lily asking him. Snape fell into a pile on the ground. After a few moments he was on his feet and wand out.

"Locomotormortis!" Sirius said and Snape once again was down, this time rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. This time she got her own wand out and Sirius and James took notice.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," James said seriously. I knew perfectly well James would never lay a wand on her though. You can't seriously hex a girl then still hold a hope that she would ever go out with you.

"Take the curse off him then," Lily retorted.

James just sighed rather loud and long to show his displeasure in honoring Lily's wishes. He finally looked at Snape and muttered the countercurse. "There you go," he said almost sadly. "You're lucky Evans was here Snivellus." I honestly believed James was right for once. If Lily hadn't showed up what would have happened to Snape? Would I have ever gotten brave enough to step in or would I have sat there until it was too late?

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" Snape spat as he looked at James then Lily.

Lily looked taken aback. She had this look on her face as if she just realized what a waste of time she had just spent on trying to get James to leave him alone. "Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_." Now it was my turn to look taken aback. I had never heard Lily refer to him as Snivellus before, but she just had now.

James on the other hand still looked mad as hell about the words Snape dared to speak about his beloved Lily. "Apologize to Evans!" James said menacingly to Snape. He had his wand pointed out threateningly at him and I feared that round two of James versus Snape was about to begin, and this time Lily wouldn't be standing up for Snape.

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologize," Lily said loudly as she looked right at him now. "You're just as bad as he is!"

"What!" James said looking surprised. "I'd NEVER call you a- you-know-what!"

Lily didn't look amused and I started getting worried that it wouldn't be round two with James versus Snape anymore. No, it was going to be a down and dirty fight between James and Lily now, which if you asked me was going to be rather one sided since James would never say a bad word about her let alone lay a wand on her.

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it! You make me SICK!"

With that said the crowd grew silent. Some people stood there and looked at their feet or the sky trying to avoid looking at the quarreling couple, others started to walk away. And that's what Lily did after giving James a cold hard stare. She turned and walked away rather quickly.

"Evans!" James called out after her, trying to get her to come back, or at least get her attention. "Hey, EVANS!" But Lily never looked back, and I didn't blame her. I would have killed to have been able to sneak out of there. I would have liked to get out a long time ago, but I just sat and hid like the chicken I was.

I would have thought after Lily came and stopped James from bothering Snape that he and Sirius would have settled down for the afternoon and calm down some. But I was wrong, it only got worse. And I sat there and just let it happen. I just sat there the entire time pretending to be studying when in actuality I was just hiding behind my Transfiguration book as James and Sirius continued their embarrassing harassment of Snape for the remainder of the afternoon.

I knew then what they were doing was wrong, but I know now even more so what I had done was wrong. I shouldn't have just sat there doing nothing. I was supposed to be a Gryffindor damnit! Gryffindor's were supposed to display courage and bravery and all I did was hide behind that damn book the entire time, wishing they would stop on their own, hoping the event would just disappear if I ignored it enough. I now know that me just sitting there, letting the events play out was more of a cruel punishment to Snape than what James and Sirius were doing to them. Why? I could have stopped the whole thing from happening and then he never would have been embarrassed at all.

But, I didn't stop them. I was more worried about myself and keeping my friends than doing what was right and now I have to live with the guilt. From that moment on I had a hard time looking Snape in the eyes. It would be years before I came to terms with my guilt and just accept the fact that what I did was wrong and that we were just being immature boys. Of course, that's no excuse for what happened that day, it's just, something I try and tell myself to feel a little better about the whole mess.


End file.
